Why last year sucked... and the lessons we learned

Welcome to Wabi Sabi, the art or maybe the year of imperfection, maybe is the best way to put it. I don't know when this is going to go out, uh but we're doing this as a reflection of the year before. And I think it really doesn't matter what year or what month this is, but the reality is actually looking back in the last 12 months. And then I think it's really important. Again, most people, Jim, find like we oftentimes use like a year end or your start or maybe a quarter to kind of

Yeah.

be reflective and also set goals and visions for the upcoming quarter or the next month. And oftentimes, for me at least, it's really important before we do any forward projection, we have to actually look backwards and assess and evaluate your past so that you know what went wrong or what didn't go as right and so that you're not repeating the same patterns. ah I think that's so important because oftentimes I find that most people just have these same goals every single year. I know I've done this over and over again, but not really changing anything, know, just expecting a different results. And obviously that's the definition of insanity. how do you approach a new beginning?

you insanity. Great, great question. And I did see your Facebook post, Lawrence, where you talked about that and that reflective. And when you put forward this as an idea, I thought it was a great topic and discussion to talk about because a lot of the times it's the old saying, you know, if you don't study history, you you're bound to repeat those same mistakes moving forward and our lives are no different. You know, so when you look back and go, okay, this happened at this time, this is what I learned. This is what society learned. This is what they're repeating. You can generally create a blueprint or a, or an idea of how things potentially may plan out if you just keep doing the same thing. Uh, so yeah, I, I definitely, I'm a reflector. I do reflect quite a lot and sometimes I've just got to make sure that I don't just stay in that to, know, the, and, get to, because it's very easy to just navel gaze and just not, not do things and moving forward. But the challenge is. How do you go, how do you look in the rear view mirror and also at the front window as well to move forward? How do you take the lessons from what you've gone through the last 12 months, last quarter, whatever, and innovate from that and move forward? That to me is that there's an art to that. Yeah, man.

So let me ask you a couple of quick fire questions and you know as a listener or viewer I love you answer for yourself obviously so first things first like I so the assumption I'm making that you've already done your reflection and you've already you know sat down and sort of projected forward or what the you know the new year is gonna be so but try to remember this from without doing that those I know it's hard to do that but if you had to evaluate your year you know the previous year on a scale of one to ten and you can't have a seven

Yep. Yeah.

What number would you, what's the gut instinct number? First thing comes to mind, a six. Okay, that's really interesting. Now, as you did that, um and then reflected upon the year, did that number change after you'd done some reflection?

Six. Six, yeah. It started off higher and it started off higher. like, if you'd, if I'd done a midway through the year, I probably would have been an eight. And I, I realize in myself, I, I probably, because I go back 12 months earlier, right. And I go, that's when we moved to Scotland. Right. And I going into it, it was more about settling into the place. Uh, I, I.

Ah, okay, interesting.

I think I was tired to be honest. Now I can look back and go, I think I was tired. And I started the year probably a little bit behind the black ball, even before I started, not even realizing until I got to about October, November and went, Jay, I'm actually, I'm more tired now. So some of my efficiencies, some of my uh drive uh just wasn't there to close out the year as strong as I like. So that's why I think it went, would have gone down from an eight to a six.

So you started strong, maybe because it was the new change, new environment, excitement, all this. So you kind of went through almost with adrenaline in a little bit, I guess, in Hunza. Yeah.

I started strong and I think so. think so. I think so. I think so. Yeah. I think so. I think so. And I ran out of puff about October, November. And, um, so I started taking not that I wouldn't say I was taking on water by any means, but it was just, it wasn't. It wasn't how I would have wanted to finish the backend of the year. just felt like I was, uh, less inspired. Um, and I like to finish a year strong, I just, I felt the bladed to be honest. Yeah. Yeah.

And nothing left. Yeah, interesting. So um looking back now uh over the year then, uh what were some of the, you know, maybe you can trade, but we'll just start off like, what was the one lesson, not necessarily the biggest, but what's one lesson you took away or regret that you might've had?

I think I, I mean, we've always been organized breaks and, I did organize breaks, but I organized them on the back end of other things and they were, and yeah. And it just, and it just wasn't enough. Um, you know, the, had retreats and then it was like a couple of days, a few days after that, and it just wasn't enough. So, uh, I, I obviously I've reevaluated how the whole year is next year.

of other retreats or other events, yeah.

on the basis of that. it's more in keeping back to, yeah, probably the last three years have been an aberration, uh, three, four years for both of us in a lot of ways. Uh, but for me, I think I've gone back to probably how I was planning things more specifically about five years ago, where it was like really, really structured. If there's a, if there's an event, there's just an event and I'm not tagging on something on top of that or afterwards. I'm actually having a a break in a specific category in its own right where there's boundaries around that side. So, uh, I had to take, I had to go back to that, that sort of phase and mindset.

What? do we do that? Like, do you think that we're doing that because we're trying to save money or we feel like we can compress it all? We think we can do it better and try to squeeze more things in or

Yeah, it's a good question. think it's efficiency. You go, Hey, I'm already here. I might as well do that. But, but you and I have spoken about that before. takes us a lot, a little while to get out of the rhythm of doing before you can really start to unwind. And so I realized that, you know, I took the break, you know, I'd have it, I'd do a retreat and I have three days afterwards and that three days just wasn't enough. know, like it was just, I'd had five or six days for a retreat, three days.

Yeah.

After it just wasn't enough. So by about day three is when I was starting to unwind and that's when I'd have to go back into it. So it was just a, you know, a strategic thing to optimize what I did, but I just realized that that didn't serve me as well as I wanted to.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm curious, it's almost like thinking about, you know, those, let's just say you take a retreat and then you take three days out rather than, mean, I think those three days are still valuable, but it's not a proper break. Like it's more just, it's still valuable, it's there, but we shouldn't treat it as a break. It should just be like a little quick weekend holiday kind of thing, you know, just in between. think that, cause I find it helpful. I always try to add on, I always try to add on about 24 hours at least.

Yep. Yep. Yeah, yeah.

on the back end of my trips. this, you know, I went to Bali, did my retreat and usually I stayed an extra day in Bali, but this time I didn't to minimize time away from family. I actually spent 48 hours actually ended up in Abu Dhabi and that 48 hours was like it didn't recharge me or anything, but it definitely gave me just like a little another story to tell or another experience that I didn't have. It definitely wasn't a break, but it was a, you know, just a, think they're valuable to me. those extra few days and but yeah if I treated them as a break and it's not ideal when I would have done that.

that's what it was. And I think it's hit home now, obviously with, with, um, know, but tend to being involved in education, there are specific times that you can take a break. we've lost that flexibility of just going, Hey, let's, uh, let's, so we, we, really noticed that I really noticed that. it's. Yeah. So when it's just got, you've got this narrow window go and, um you know, but, you know, the, the, the alternative is not to do it. Right.

you Yeah, I'm still in it. I know.

But for me, it was a case of, understand now that I'll still have those breaks, but I still have to find another avenue. So, um, yeah, that's what I, that's what I've learned. What about you? Oh, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

At least you're in a university time frame. So least, you know, if you work from a high school, elementary school, oh man, like the windows are very small and very tight and very expensive. You know, I would rate it a five or a six, you know, and I had the opposite reaction. know, I, just the whole year just felt like a waste, you know, and I hate saying that because I don't like wasting.

Yeah, very small, you pay premiums for many, many years. Yeah, exactly right. So how about you, Lawrence? Hmm.

But you know, it's all my fault. It's, you know, it's my, you know, it's my, it's my own doing in a way. But then I actually had the reason why I asked you that secondary question, which was like, when I started reflecting back with my kids, I actually sat down and every year I try to go back and go, Hey, okay, what did we do this year? You know, I went back month to month and, and it was really weird to kind of look back on the year and go, wow, I actually did a lot of travel. You know, I didn't realize I was, I think I was on. like 27 flights or something. I'm like, how is that even possible? I don't remember going to that many. I think I spent four days on a plane. I lost nine hours due to delays. Like I have this app, the Calculate Instant. So when I reflect it back, I'm like, I actually did a lot. It might not have been the wins regards to, from a business perspective, but it was a win for the experiences that I created for myself and for my family.

Yep. Yep. Yep.

um So then, you know, that six didn't feel as bad of a six. So it was like a six, like a 5.9 to like maybe a 6.8, right? And so I think, I guess the reason why I asked that question is mostly because it's like, I guess it depends on the lens you look through and also the timeframe. Because I'm sure that we both had a six type of year, but if we kind of looked at maybe certain periods of time, certain windows, it was a freaking nine out of 10. Right. And then there's moments that were not as good, but I averages out around a six, let's say. And, uh, but it doesn't mean it was a terrible year. And I think that, you know, the theme of this podcast has always been around the imperfection. And that's exactly sort of why it's important to kind of share that. like, yeah, on the outside, it looks fantastic, but there are definitely certain things that you just feel like, wish I could have done that better. So the lesson I learned, like the one big lesson I learned is I had a lot of ideas. I had a lot of thinking. Uh, but I'm just a terrible, last year I'd just been a terrible executor. I just didn't execute on anything. Anything that was meaningful or doubtful. And I had an actually conversation with a friend of mine, we spent like three, four hours sitting down and chatting and he asked a really brilliant question. He was just like, well, why was that? And I had to sit back and think, I'm like, okay, let me think this through, like why? And it just really came down to fear.

Hmm.

It was so ridiculous as it sounds, but it just became fear. I go, then if I dug a little deeper, it was purely of like fear of loss or fear of like not making it right, which doesn't make any sense, but yet that's what it was holding me back. It's like, I'm sort of like standing. The best analogy I have is like, I'm trying to steal second, but I'm like, my foot is on first base because I don't want, I'm too scared to like take a good lead and take the risk.

Okay.

And um I see that as an analogy in everything I sometimes do. In paddle, we were just talking about that this morning after our game. It's like, when there's a perfect opportunity to kill, like finish the point, there's the head, the ball is dropping, you're ready for a smash. And like the head goes, should I do it? Should I kill it? And then there's a moment like, no, no, like play it safe. No, kill it, play it safe, kill it. And you do this. And then what ends up happening is that your shot is half, like it's not a kill shot.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

and it's not a safe shot. And actually you hit the net or you hit the glass and that's when you lose the point. And so you either, and what it came down to me was, and I'll wrap this up on how it makes sense to you for everyone, is that what it comes down to, we said at the end was we have to know that when the perfect ball is there, there's a 90 % probability that I could kill this and I should kill it. And I should just take it. I had to have the self-confidence. to be able to know that 90 % of chance I'm going to be able to win this point. But there's also a 10 % chance that you're going to miss it, right? You're going to do something stupid with it. But the risk, the probability, it's important. But it comes down to self-confidence. And I think this is the sort of theme I want to move into towards this year is to recognize that I have to be confident enough to lean into my decisions, but knowing that it's not going to be perfect either.

Yep. Yep.

I'm almost like this waiting for perfection to execute and realizing that's not, I'm wasting too much time and a lot of opportunities, the lost opportunities by not executing because of my own confidence in myself.

Yep. So would you say that's like a playing not to, sorry, it's the difference between playing to win versus playing not to lose. Yep. Yeah. And I get that. And, and a lot of the times that's, that's what I've, I've, I've found is that when I play defensively, it doesn't work out. You know, when I say play defensively, like you have to have a good defense, but from the point of view of, if you're in a scenario and a winning situation, you need to

Yeah, basically. Yeah, exactly.

lean into that feeling and take the opportunity as opposed to, uh, hold back and, and be defensive. It's like, there are times where you go, okay, this is a strategic retreat. There are times you go, I need to advance and need to go advance with discernment and conviction and go, right. mean, let's go, let's do that. It's the tentativeness that usually if you've ever played soccer and you've gone into a 50, 50, 50 ball, uh, if you don't go into it with full intent and go into it half-heartedly, you're leg broken. And that's really, know, metaphorically, that's what has happened to me is if I haven't gone in all in on things, and that's generally when things don't play out as well as if I did, and I just took the ride and went with whatever happened.

I think the important thing too, as well, it's like, it's not to say, and this is where most people listen to it and go, okay, this is what I need to do. I need to just go all in all the time. I'm like, I'm not saying that. I want to be very clear. It's about probability. It's about when it is a high probability that taking the shot now is the right move, you should take the shot. But there's also times where you do have to play defense because the probability of making that shot is low. It's like a 50-50 shot. Maybe that's not when you want to be aggressive. Right. And this is, this applies to relationship. think it applies to investing. It applies to, you know, your business and decisions. Um, I think it's worth it. And I think also at the level intensity. which means like, I need to learn more to, and then I learned this really young around like 27. The story is like, remember this, you know, 17 year old, 18 year old, we used to have these meetings and it started with like one of my first businesses outside of, know, once I graduated. I started this business called iLife Studio and iLife Studio was like this thing, him and I started, was like an Amazon for personal development books for Tony Robbins and all those types. It was like, we ran it for like two years. And we used to have these meetings and I used to go into the cafe and he used to, after a while, after several meetings, he goes, why do you take so long to make a decision? It's like coming from a 17 year old kid, right? I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, every time we come to the same cafe, you stand there, you look at all the window and you look at this tart and look at this tart and you, take forever to decide what you want to eat. And I'm like, no, I don't. I was so defensive about it, right? And I realized, I'm like, oh yeah, I am doing that. It's not like the choices change, right? It's the same bloody choices. Let's say it was a Starbucks or whatever. It's the same choices every single time, but I'm sitting there deliberating, oh my God, I want to miss out on the apple tart versus thing. And he was like, you're wasting so much time deliberating on something that's not that significant. If you're doing that on small things, what are you doing to the big things?

Yeah.

Oh, okay, you got me kid. And that really stood out to me and I remembered, and this is how I approach things, is like certain things in life, what I learned was I need to make quicker, snapper decisions on things that don't matter, right? Versus like delivering, like, oh my God, even yesterday I got, I'll give you one example. Like, so I was booking a flight to go, because I'm speaking in the UK in March and I was booking this flight and I was looking at the delivery and I'm like, okay, should I take the?

Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

six o'clock flight or should I take the one o'clock flight? I'm like, what am gonna do? And I was like, what am I doing? Just make the decision. It's not like, I almost left the page to go, oh, let me think about this. And I present, I'm like, no, no, this is a new, I'm like, I do not need to think about this. I should make the choice and live with the decision, right? And that's what I mean. It seems so instant Nick fan, but I think this is the key point I want to try to make is, You think it's insignificant, but these moments of decisions, when it's insignificant, sets you up for the things that are significant in the future, right? And how you do one thing is how you do everything. That's sort of my mantra, ah thinking at least, on how I want to approach the following year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. Well, you know that the number one common trait of decisive of successful people is decisiveness, right? Is the ability. And then when we find, and I find that I'm not as successful if I'm not decisive. So it's a case of, okay, make a choice and go with it and not, not spend a lot of an inordinate amount of time, uh, running through that. Because as you said, if it, if it's difficult for basic, it's just going to get harder. And you want to preserve as much as many of your faculties for the really big decisions in life and not have decision fatigue for things that aren't really important or, or, or matter. So I totally get that. that's, know, um, you know, it's a established folklore. You're more of the foodie than I am Lawrence. And if I, I just get, if I've got a menu that's got 65 options, I'm just in overwhelm. So I just shut it and go, um, I, I want this and. Would you like, don't care. Just keep it simple because I can see myself entering into that realm and, um, there's just too, it's too many decisions. It just gets complex.

The worst is an Asian restaurant, like a Thai restaurant or some sort, when there's like 100 dishes on the menu and the variations are very small. One has onions, one doesn't have onions. I would take number 54.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Went to this Korean barbecue. Yeah. We went to Korean barbecue. Actually I was in New York over, over Chris magnificent and the choices and the options. It's just like, listen, just present me with the that and I'll go with that. I'll just, let's just go with that. Let's just go with that. So it's just too many options in there. So, um, I was going to ask you that the, the, the, the process of admitting it to ourselves, right? Because there's.

Yes. I just need me. I just need me.

Like both of us have a very ambitious in, in, in, in the way we've gone about things. We've recognized there are times there are seasons. We realized that, okay, this season, I probably wasn't at my best. So why do you think it was a six for you in terms of you mentioned about the fear? Uh, but was it a conscious contraction or contrast dissociation, a conscious holding back that led to that? Or did you. Like there are other times where you felt that fear and done it anyway. What was the difference between now and other times?

Yeah, I think I was gonna ask you this question. You we talk about the indecisions and decisions. My question to you, and maybe I'll answer first and then you can answer, which is, um have you found, as we're getting older, that that decision becomes harder or takes longer? And the reason, rationale I'm asking this is because that's how I'm feeling. It doesn't mean that that's how you're And the reason, I don't know if this is the reason, but I feel like there is, em as I'm getting older,

Yep.

the timeframe that's left is shorter. And so therefore, like the runway of making a mistake is greater, shorter, and so therefore the probability, so we talk about probability, becomes more important. You do have to play the game of probability. If I was in my 20s, I can take a risk, and if I lose, starting from, like I wasn't that far ahead anyways, you know? And in my 30s is still there like you still have the energy in my 40s. I can argue but I can see the writing on the wall. But now that I just turned 50 and I don't know if it's the age thing or not, but it is definitely knowing that like, hmm, like if I make one false move, I could, I could put myself backwards, right? Or I have one and or the other thing is not just making mistake actually. So that's plain defensive, but there's also like thinking forward going, if I go down this road, I might just choice and I dedicate the next three years. or five years to this thing, when am I also am I giving up that I can't do because I dedicate this? So then you almost go into the situation and I think that's where I felt is actually combination of one, of losing big or two is that if I make one decision, what other decisions do I have to forego? um And knowing that maybe I only have one last big take. Now again, I fully admit and aware that is a.

Yep.

narrative in a story that I'm creating this for myself and it's not necessarily true and it's definitely probably not true but that's the story that I have in my head. I hope that makes sense.

Yeah, I think so let's, let's unpack that. I think there's, there's definitely something that happens to you as you get older, where you start getting more. Considered where you consider things. You're not going to shoot from a hip with as much a gusto as you might have earlier, because it's not so much that you got more, more to lose, but there's more things you have to take into account. All right. Uh, as you said, when it's just, when you're in your twenties and it's just you, uh, you live and die by your own. There are other considerations. It's like time is the factor energy into it as well. Um, uh, and I totally get that you go, listen, I don't have, if I'm going to go into a business venture and I don't have the luxury of, of the amount of time to recoup if things don't go the way. you, it's going to influence how you go. Totally get it. I totally understand that as a concept, as a frame too. And I think that it makes you more considerate. You start looking at your own limitations and go, do I have the energy for this? All right. Do I have the energy? Yeah.

Well, that's the other thing that I think we have to factor that in. There's two factors I want to add here. Number one is that I'm fully aware that I'm as I'm, you know, as at the age I am, the energy, not physical energy, but like the desire energy to go after it is the plenish or definitely on the decline, not on the incline. And the second I find is that I'm also in a very different phase of my life, right? A comparative view because

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What I mean by that is not because of age but because your kids are grown, right? So now you're kind of going back you kind of go from full circle to like before kids, right? So you if something should fail it's like well, whatever like my kids are kind of taking therapy themselves like but I'm still in that phase of like my kids need still need me and you know if I make You know certain decisions like it could actually impact on maybe the school they go to you know for university So I still got like this obligation, which is kind of a weird thing. So knowing a couple of these factors

Yeah, it's a different, it's a de- Yep. Yeah, totally get it. Yeah.

I know this is very personal and specific to my circumstances. That's what's caught up in holding a lot of energy and becoming decisive about it. I'm fully aware of it, which is helpful because I think the first thing to make a change is to be recognizing where your somebody's deficiency and false stories are and what it's about.

But there are implications. You're a hundred percent correct, Lawrence, because you suddenly go, okay, well, I have, you still have, you know, and I do to a degree too. You know, your kids are older. They're not, they're independent, but they still need some level of support. know, we, we, uh, are there, you know, we, basically say we, uh, um, where you can count on us, but you don't want you to depend on us sort of thing mindset. that, that, that isn't it, but yeah, your, your kids are still dependent on you. So I totally understand that. And But, by energy, what I also meant too was just in context. So, so I did a lot of reflective work on, on the year. And I, and I looked at this and went because of the, you know, you talk about runway at time or whatever, I I'm really discerning. I'm getting a lot more discerning about where I'm going to put my energy and focus and some things that, um, I really like, they've got to be at least an eight, nine and 10. They have to be, I can't keep doing, you know, three, four, five out of 10. Activities and fulfillment. So really that's what I'm chasing. If anything, to the point where the, know, there's an event or two that we normally had run, we're not running next year or this year. We've just decided both of us went, you know, one of them was our retreat. Um, we basically made the decision. We're not running one this year, uh, in the middle of summer when we've done it before. Um, so anybody who was registered, we've just refunded it. We've, we've forfeited our deposit because we've realized that we. m Needed a break for ourselves as well. So I think this is a really key step and this is where it took me to was I suddenly went I really love that. It's one of the highlight of the year, but I needed something for me More and that was filling my own cup So that was the realization I had at the end of last year is that my cup wasn't as full as it could have been for myself and for us to be rested to create from that place so it was creating from a

Hmm.

from a cup that wasn't overflowing, which traditionally it was, it was probably a seven. And because I started at a lower level by the end of the year, I got to a depleted state, which I can look back and go, well dude, that's you, you, you, didn't finish the way that you wanted to because of those key factors. So we had to make tough decisions that were implications for it that I'm comfortable having doing, knowing that I need, I need a different metric. need a different uh reference point to met. to measure fulfillment other than just being busy.

Yeah, yeah. And I think a lot of one of the, know, the one main other thing that I recognize within, you know, why it was such a five or six is just because of consistency. And when I say consistency was just like the consistency to be able to stay focused long enough. I just wasn't focused. I was focused at spurts, but I wasn't focused enough long enough to kind of sustain. it's just like almost as, it's almost as I get older, I'm getting more ADHD. It's kind of weird, ah but it's the unsustained focus.

Hmm.

What I'm working on this first month here is trying to recognize what are the habits that I'm not creating or need to create to build the consistency. I'm not focused on so much about what I need to accomplish. I'm not focused about all the steps I need to do. I'm actually more focused on how do I create my life in a way that's gonna give me the maximum amounts of um focus time. to so that it's consistent enough that I will actually do the work of that matters. And that's me testing out like music, my like, you know, whether I work here in my office or at home or just going to a cafe instead. And, you know, working in timeframes of like half an hour or 90 minutes or budgeting time or consistency. Like I'm working, I'm playing around with it. I'm spending like, you know, the first. month or two just working on trying to the habits because that's the thing that I was missing. I had, you know, all the desire to make some changes, but what I didn't do was actually being consistent. Like actually the one thing that we stayed really consistent with was our podcast. You know, just showing up here every week on the same time, because that was all my calendar. That's been on my calendar every single week. Sure. We missed a few weeks because of travel, whatever. But, you know, I would say 85 % of the time we were consistent. on the Tuesday at 1 p.m. And that's like the one consistent thing. And that's what I'm trying to do with the rest of my, you know, other parts of my life.

Yeah. And you know what Lawrence, like, you know, we're, we're approaching nearly a hundred episodes, right? And when we first started, it was like, Hey, let's start an idea and we're chipping away at its consistency. And I guess that as a model shows you that sometimes you don't feel like you're knocking it out of the park every time, but you've showing consistency. And that is a metric is, is there like, I, like I said, I love, um, recording for no other reason that we just have a chat. And from that, we create content that, you know, people go, yeah, I learned something from, but first and foremost, to be honest, I think it's got it. It feels both our cups and it has to, because that's, that's the part of it. And if it didn't, we, you know, I think we'd both go, Hey, you know what? think it's run its course where I go, but I'm, I'm enjoying doing that because it actually keeps that accountability, keeps that reflection and introspection that focus. And I think I mentioned to you, um, one of our other podcasts that probably the reason why I read and I put a timer on is I actually.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And, and they both go, you, you know, it's genetic, right? You know, you know, you, and, and, and for the longest time, but when we were growing up now, I don't know if you've noticed it, culture, people go, yeah, I'm a speccy. I own it. I'm grateful. I really love it. It's a superpower. Whereas when you and I growing up, that wasn't seen that way. All right. And so,

Yeah, it's a badge of honor. No, no.

Um, but there's elements of my personality that I totally get that, uh, can, can be disrupted. And so I really work hard to make sure that I stay focused on it. And then what you're talking about, we're doing is what I've had to do as well is build processes and systems and structure around that. And that's the areas of my life and world that are most, um, sort of progressing the best is the ones that I have that structure around.

Yeah, you know, it's so true. It's like so plainly obvious when you actually say it out loud that, you know, for us being, you know, recording every single week for the last two years and we're close to 100 episodes and that's two years worth of episodes, you know, sure, we missed a few there or whatever, but it's like that consistency is there. And sure enough, like, oh, well, God, when you look back and like, oh, like we made two years, like that's not a small feat, right? For any show in the world, most shows kind of stop after

Yeah Yeah. Yep. For the three people that listen, Lawrence, whoever it is, you know, but, but, but no, it's, it's what, but, but that's what it was. It was, it was consistency broken down, regular habits and doing it and showing up.

Yeah. Yeah, and I think that, you know, there's a lot of positive stuff that comes for us. And the reason, you know, people are like, why would you do it? Well, because in order to do a podcast, like we, the way we do things, it organizes our thoughts in our own head, right? It's hard to do it in your own head, but when you say it out loud to the public or even just to you, like it now organizes all the things. Like I just basically just by doing this podcast in last half an hour, like I've organized a lot of these good things and, and I created multiple stories around them. And that's going to help me be a better version of myself. And the other thing too as well, if you think about like one of the commitments I made last year, which I'm actually quite happy about was I realized I was playing really badly in paddle because I was so inconsistent. I was playing twice a week sometimes and then once a week and sometimes nothing. And I, I, I, I hated like being so bad at it, you know, cause I was getting so good. And so I said to myself, I'm like, I'm minimum twice a week, three times if I can. And I did that for the whole entire year. Like there's, you know, a couple of weeks after I was away, I didn't do that, but When I actually did that, like my game definitely has improved because it didn't improve right away. Probably take like four months or six months. But that's like the backdrop and the analogy, right? It's like you showing up, like I'm sure your jujitsu is the same. My crossfit's the same. And I think the main element that we forget is how long it actually takes though, right? Like the reason why we say consistency is because we have this expectation, at least I do in my head.

Yeah. Yep.

that if I just do something for like a couple of weeks, I should just get it. The harsh truth reality is that I need to do this for at least six months to even see like, oh yeah, like I've come a long way, but you have to be willing to go through that consistency to actually get somewhere. And, most of us, because of, you know, we're uh so wired to do so many different things, we forget that the importance of just sticking with one thing long enough to see the benefits of

Yeah. Yeah. And, know, it's interesting you say about Jiu-Jitsu. So I was, that was the example I was going to make as well too, that I went through a journey last year where I went from one school into another. I kind of, didn't, I didn't lose my way, but I didn't have the drive in it that I, that I, that I wanted to, still ended up training, three times a week. I was consistent with it, but not with that intensity. And, um, uh, you know, I really thought about that and went, okay, there's another year. there, um, you know, did, did how you go about things really move the needle in the direction you want to go or not. And the truth was it didn't. Um, so I, I made those commitments. So I, when I, when I started the new school, uh, at a new school, it's kind of like in the style I'm doing, it's kind of like playing you play tennis and now you play table tennis. It's still tennis, a tennis component, but they're totally different forms of the part. And so I needed the immersive. Process to really accelerate. So I've made that commitment. I've been following it through. I've also made the commitment. I've got to get to Barcelona three times next year this year, I should say uh And I've committed to those so they're gonna be three three times where I fly in. It's a it's a training block I'm gonna go in and the first ones in a few weeks uh And they happen to be training for world championships. So that's a perfect time. So I need that

Yeah.

I need to put myself in environments and situations where I'm, working and training with people who are world-class because the rising tide lifts all boats and I get lifted by that. And, and, you know, you're right, we have a commitment that we follow it through. And what we're doing here is what we're basically saying is how else in what other areas of our life and world can we do this to keep expanding and growing? Because for the people that we show up to, um, to work with, have no doubt that we give all that we have.

Mm-hmm.

to that, to them, uh, and that's great. This is what we need to do for us to ensure that we stay on top of our game to deliver to that level. And I think that that's where I let myself down is that I didn't deliver. didn't get a hundred percent out of myself in order to operate at that level in all areas of life and world. So that's where I've been, I've made that more introspective and more turned it in. I've got intentions, but a lot of them are more inward facing as opposed to out facing this year.

Yeah. So another thing that I'm doing differently is to challenge my own assumptions. So the downside of consistency, OK? The downside of consistency, because we talked a lot about how to stay consistent, that one of the things that you and I both do have done really well is My CrossFit, your Jiu-Jitsu, my paddle, whatever it is. We talk a lot about that because we're so consistent with it. The problem, what you highlighted around your

Yeah. Yeah.

What I think is really brilliant is, is, I know you've talked about this a few times, even personally, which is like, yeah, your jujitsu was consistent. You still three times a week, but it wasn't the same intensity or the same type of like outcome that you had when you were in Barcelona. And so what, what, what ended up showing up to me, at least from the third point of view, third person point of view, listening to that is that you showed up, you were consistent, but you were just going through the motion. we kind of got lost into the consistency of the story. oh of that we just need to show up versus about actually questioning whether or not is that still the right thing? And so here I'll give you something really, really simple. so when I was in Bali, so one of the things that, you you talked about jet lag. So one of the things that I have, I use a friend's invention, which is called FlyKit when I travel anything more than like five hours. And I don't really get jet lag. I'm sure there's some. m In but I minimize the amount of inflammation I have on the flights and I follow a uh very specific regimen of food, sleep, and patterns in what I eat. One of the things is that in that program is caffeine. I don't drink coffee. So therefore, I never took caffeine. So that was the one thing that was missing. However, I started taking like chocolate caffeine. Like, so it's like these chocolate with pocket, I think it's called pocket coffee or whatever. So it's like a little bit of coffee and chocolate. I love chocolate. So was like, okay, I can take that. And then, but I was in Bali this time and I went,

Yep. Eh. Eh.

this is interesting. don't know why I said this. I remember talking to all my clients, know, the freaking Australians, right? Australian clients. They're so into their coffee, I'm sure you are too. It's just like this thing with Australian coffee. So I said to myself, anybody want to go coffee in the morning? I'm like, no, no. And they went, okay, you know what? Tell me about coffee. And when someone that goes into a detail, I'm like, okay, well, there's different types of coffee. I'm like, okay, get me an espresso. It's not like, you know me, I've never had coffee. I love coffee flavored things, but.

Yeah.

The thing that I changed was, I have this story in my head. I have created this story that I don't drink and I don't drink coffee either. That's the thing. That's always been, doesn't drink and doesn't know. But it almost got to this point of consistency, which is like, it just becomes a badge of honor. It just becomes a badge of like, oh, I just don't drink coffee. But have I ever thought about, do I like coffee? is there a coffee that I actually enjoy? Or is it just a story that I have? Or do I see the benefit of coffee?

Yeah.

And so when I start with that, I'm like, okay, give me an espresso. I think I had two espresso in over two days. And then I went to my friend in Dubai and he, when I was visiting him and he said, he just loves coffee. He's like, you know, like, you know, one of those like, you're pristine and arty kind of like, yeah. And so, so, and I'm like, okay, listen.

Yeah. Yeah. RT. Yeah. know. Yeah. The art of coffee. Yep. Got it.

I just started last week with two copies like, let's drink a coffee in Dubai. And so I had a coffee in Dubai and he's like, he just, and his mind, it's like, okay, this is such so brilliant. Cause like, you know, for him it's like, I'm challenging my beliefs. And so now like my, come back to, to Portugal and, I'm, you know, once in a while, I'm not saying every day, once in a while, I'm like, I ordered coffee and my wife's like, what are you doing? Right. Cause it's again, it's like this change. And I, and the reason why I'm telling you this story is because it's something small, but remember I said how you do one thing can affect it. How do you do everything? And what I'm,

Yeah. Yep.

Doing this for, it's not to, so I can get addicted to coffee. Maybe I will, I have no idea. We'll talk to me in a year's time. But the thing that I'm doing this for is actually to remind myself to challenge my own beliefs. That what I think is correct or what I held true may not be true. It doesn't mean it is not true, it just may not be true. So I'll say that to this, I've tried at least probably five different versions of coffee or maybe six different for coffee and I still haven't found one that I like. Okay?

Yeah.

Actually, I hate lattes, hate all the, if anything, I'm gonna take a coffee now, it's espresso. Just give it to me in a small shot and I'll freaking take it and yeah, right.

Yeah, that's pretty much how I, that's how I do it. It's one of these ones that are just slap you in the face because you actually have the true taste of coffee. Right. To me that, but that's, but that's, that's how I have those. No.

Yeah, Yeah, putting milk and also just like dragging this disgusting thing. But like, I'm testing also to go, okay, I'm not like the flavor, I love flavors, but I might not like the taste of it. But I'm saying like, I'm trying to discern like, is there a difference between certain types of beans or how it's roasted and you know, in the bitterness. And the other thing is I'm also testing is like, is it affecting my performance? Like my daily performance? Does it give me a little bit of an edge? Like if I just have one.

You can't

And that's what I'm testing for. I'm not having it every day. But the whole point I'm telling you, everybody on this is, it's really focused on this changing of beliefs, of recognizing that certain held beliefs may or may not be true, and I'm just testing it. it's giving me permission, and reminding me, at least, to go, hey, I've always done X, I've always been known as this, do I have to still be that? Yes.

Yeah. What would happen if I did something different? Yeah, totally. You know what, but that's, but that's the cognitive bias component where you're trying to hold two opposing thoughts in your mind and being able to see both points, uh, in there. look, I think it's, I think it's a really good thing. Um, in support of that roasting Lawrence, you know, when we were, when we were back in Melbourne, it is a cafe, uh, culture and a cafe, uh, capital of Australia. Um, up the road from us, there was a roaster and he used to, um, you might want to experiment if, it's your thing, coffee and it's in, you have all these other flavors infused into it. So they've got orange and vanilla and one of our associates at the time, he'd just go, he'd go into this, to the roaster and he'd come in with the most elaborate concoctions. I go, dude, I just want coffee. That's just coffee. And, but no, he loved, because he was, was a, see that in tea drinkers as well. They've got all these different flavors. And it's a, it's an individualized experience, but it's the willingness to try it because there's certain foods that I didn't like as a kid. And I've now I've gone through the same thing where I was like, rock melon didn't like as a kid, but suddenly at 50, I've started having had rock melon and my kids would go, I thought you didn't like it. I go, I didn't really. And I was still not my favorite, but unless I'm giving it a go, uh, cause I don't want to be that guy who blocks out of all experiences. I'd rather have a broader range.

Mm, mm.

But then at least know that I'm giving those opportunities because it teaches me, like you said, a way of being just to go try different things because you're doing it with food. You're doing it with experiences. You know, when you're of that mindset, different possibilities come into your world that you wouldn't have otherwise had if you didn't, if you didn't start.

Yeah, there's a lie. I have found one coffee that I created that was the freaking amazing I created. So anyways, my kids and my wife laughs at me because you didn't create it. I'm like, well, I think I created it. So that's all that matters. So I was skiing in France in the French Alps. And I had, was, when I was skiing around 2,400 meters up, you know, altitude or whatever, looking over Mont Blanc.

What's that? Yeah. All right, I you created.

And I ordered a hot chocolate with chintilly. So like this, you know, chintilly with this, this whipped cream and I mixed it all in. was drinking it and I'm like, I wonder what it would be like if I put an espresso in here. So I asked the girl like, can you put an expresso? I goes, yeah, sure. Put an expresso. And I'm like, this is the most delicious thing I've ever had in my life. It's like this hot chocolate, not just hot chocolate, hot chocolate in the French Alps at high altitude on a beautiful day with chintilly, right?

Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah.

whipped cream and a French espresso dipped into no like, oh, this is heaven. that's right.

So the key is how do you replicate that in your mind in an instant? Right? That's, the, that, but, but, but, that, you've got all the elements there, man. You had, you had the experience, the coffee, the wind, the skiing, all of that. It's going to be the perfect and the sugar as well too. They gave you that sugar high as well, but it does speak to the fact that, know, like I said, for all the time that I've known you, you know, we've gone together. So I don't drink coffee. Okay. You don't, you don't drink coffee. Um, but the fact that you go, Hey, I'm giving it a go.

Yeah, and the sugar of course to help.

I had a mate of mine, you know, he calls me a horrible enabler. He'd never drank coffee until he was 50. And he came to my birthday, my 50th, he flew into Melbourne. We took him to a place and we go, hey, listen, mate, let me buy you your first coffee. And I bought him the guys hooked to it now. So I'm a horrible enabler in there. there you go. There you go. Yeah. But where else are you going to try those things, Lawrence?

Well, 50 years, right? 50 years without a coffee and there I am. Yeah.

I would say you're to go right. Okay. I'm going to try this in this way, or I'm going to lean into this feeling and where I traditionally would say no. Or when I turn left, I'm going to turn right and see what happens. think that that's, that's that willingness to, to, to, to take the shot.

To test, yeah. And I think that the beautiful part about this is like, I've tried so many different versions of coffee and, um you know, I have never found the thing I like. And before I would have like, oh, this is such a waste. But to me it's like, okay, I didn't like it. I move on, right? And that's like, I'm trying to teach my brain to go, yeah, I tried X, didn't work, just move on, like try something else. And like, that's the backdrop and the analogy, right? It's like, it's just, it's not about coffee. Like if this whole conversation isn't about coffee, it's about...

Yep.

deciding to make certain choices that is, what's the worst? I lost, I don't know, three euros or four euros or whatever, and a bit of like taste buds, but I learned something. I'm like, yeah, I don't like that. And sometimes I would give it a try. Maybe it was a different type of brain. I'm like, yeah, I still don't like that, right? And so it's just doing that. I think if you apply that to, I don't know, a workout you do, maybe like a project you wanna do, or an AI that you wanna try, or like an idea that you wanna get.

Yep. Yep.

The thing is that we just don't often try and this is where I've been really kind of leaning into and I feel like this is going to be, I really feel almost liberated to feel like now I don't have a story that I need to attach myself to, but I'm actually now just leaning into going the year. like, I'm just going to give things a go. I'm going to, I'm willing to kind of give something a shot and see rather than trying to tell a story that out that won't

I think that's great because you know, you and I both know the hardest people that we work with, the uncoachable ones are the ones who either know it all or unprepared to give anything a go, right? Because they're so stuck in, this is how I always do things. It's like, okay, well that's giving you that particular objective and outcome. So why don't you try something different? Why don't you stay open to this possibility and, and you, you're, leading by example, by going, okay, this is how I'm to do it. I'm going do it in coffee. I'm going to try different things. Heck I'm doing, I'm going to do a yoga class before my next jujitsu class next week because I, I am identifying that I need that element a bit more. So I'm going to incorporate that as well too. I, you know, I go, don't particularly love doing that, but it's an important part. So I have to lean into those things that I traditionally would go by default. wouldn't do I'm going lean into them, you know, because I can see the, the macro benefit of, of adopting that kind of mindset.

So what's the, do you have a theme or do you have a word for the year? What is it?

I think for me, yeah, I don't know if it was a word, but it was more a theme. that was, uh, for me, it was like, um, filling my own cup. Uh, I think I, and it wasn't so much that I gave power away. just, can look at this and go, you know what? There were times where, um, I, I didn't nurture self to the level that I could have, that I needed to. And that meant that I was depleted.

Hmm.

So for me, it's about regeneration. were things in interesting, like I didn't, I didn't not willingly step into things. So some projects, there's things that I've been trying to work through, uh, for a big part of year. I've been working on these projects, financing projects, waiting for six months for progress. And I think I just got, you know, when you go ready, I am fire. I've been aiming for so long that I got depleted. got cooked. And I realized that. I was staying in that hyper-vigilant state and not recharging and refueling along the way. so consequently, that's the biggest learning that I've had. So for me, think it's, it's just, yeah, you know, not, not expending energy. That's, that's futile and unnecessary. It has to be very considered and it has to be aligned and, and yeah, it's got to be at least an eight uh level of fulfillment that I'm looking for now. I've got to, and I've let go of some things that that weren't eights for that reason. Hmm. Hmm. What about you? about you? uh

Yeah, that's good for you, man. That's awesome. That's really, great to hear. um I think I had a different word, but then I just changed it because I feel like it's actually going to be more actionable. The word for the year for me is ship. ah And it's about shipping. And I had this concept around, you know, like I like you, I've been aiming and it's I'm like a sniper been aiming for so long. I'm so tired. So by the time I fire, I'm to miss. uh

Yeah.

And I feel like shipping is the, that I need to ship. And I had this friend of mine, we had this conversation and I realized that I just live in a different world than these tech entrepreneurs uh from Silicon Valley or in that ecosystem. And I realized that what they do is they just hang around with other people who then all they do is ship and ship and ship and realizing like, okay, I just need, I don't need to do it at their pace, but I just need to do at least some of it. um And one of the things that he said, like if you got something like do it for two months and then make a decision at the end of the two months, you know, you could ship it and then get it out there and then see like if it works, if you want to reevaluate and go, do you still want to continue on with this project or do you, should you stop and, uh you know, see it as a cul-de-sac, what Seth Coden calls it, and then just move on to the next project. Because the question I asked him was like, how do you manage to juggle all of these ideas? And he's like me, he's got, you know, like you also too, like, you know, we're spinning like freaking 10 different ideas in our heads. All of them are freaking great, but. you know, like what he says, like his biggest challenge is obviously like focusing on one. And so what he does is like, you know, his advice is to kind of like just bet on one for now and then give it two months and then decide if you want to continue betting on that one or move on to the next one. And I think that like almost gave me a permission to go, oh yeah, like I don't have to do this. I don't have to hold onto this for 12 months to make it perfect rather than just like, what if I just commit to something and ship it out there and then see what get feedback. And if it fails, it fails. I'm like, okay, just another, it's two months wasted. sure, I learned something from it and move on and hopefully the next iteration will be better. So I think that momentum going into the year, let's see if I can stay consistent to it and maybe we can come track back in the next quarter and to see if we follow through and just make sure that your quarter was an eight out of 10 or eight, nine or a 10 out of 10. And then hopefully we're on track for the remaining part of the year. All right guys, I hope that was helpful. I hope that's listening to our stories and our sort of...

Sounds good. Sounds good. Sounds good? Sounds good.

you know, journey will help you kind of evaluate your own and seeing how you might be able to plan and reflect upon last year to how do you plan for the following year to make sure that this year becomes the best year. And I heard this one question I'll leave with everybody. Actually, two questions I heard, I think it was from Williamson, Chris Williamson, and I was just brilliant. But the one question was, you know, if you if you're at the end of this year, you know, the summer 31st of this particular year, and you're looking back, the you're uh absolutely ecstatic and happy with who you became. know, what has to happen for your identity and behavior in terms of identity and behavior that made you, uh that you can feel like say you felt like this has been an incredible year. I'm really proud of myself for being here. uh The second thing I thought this was brilliant is that if you were your own movie and you're the main character in a movie and everybody else is watching and you're

Hmm.

What are they screaming at you? Like what are they saying to you to go, like whatever that is? And like, yeah, yeah. Like I thought that was a brilliant question. I'm like, oh yeah, that makes sense. I know what they're screaming at me. And so, and I thought that that was helpful for me to kind of make the shift and prepare for next year. anyways, I hope this has been helpful and we'll head towards the 100th episode as we count down towards it and we'll talk to you soon. Take care, see ya.

Go for it. it.