The Power of Environment in Your Growth Journey

Welcome to Wabi Sabi, the art of imperfection. We are very excited to obviously joining you again this week, but we got a very special thing because you know what, Jim, you have just told, last week we were just having an offline discussion around, your Jiu Jitsu, you know, what you wanted to do. And I said, how's the flying to Barcelona and train with your original crew and how that's going. Tell me, give us an update because I think this leads right into this beautiful topic we're gonna talk about today.

Thank you, Lawrence. Yeah, it's amazing. They say that seven days is a long time in politics. And I think in, um, in my world this week, like almost from the day that I recorded last, last time I went to training that night and look for the longest time I've been trying to find and push myself to keep training because I know it's a really important part of me, but my heart hasn't been in it. It really hasn't. And I wasn't sure whether I was falling out of love with the discipline. Or whether it was just the environment and you know, was a different environment, totally different, uh, personality based and I'm comfortable and comfortable enough in myself that I don't need the click. I could just go in and do my thing. I'm pretty good, but I just wasn't finding, I just didn't have the right attitude basically. And I got, I got home on Tuesday and, um, long story short, I train in no gay predominantly. Um, And, it was an open map, meaning that you can come, come as you do come where you want. And nobody wanted to roll with the guy who was the outsider. And which is kind of like this whole chiropractic story thing, you know, which is our background. And I think I just really reflected on it. Look, I'm out. I don't want to this here anymore. And maybe you just, so I contacted him and said, listen, I'm sorry, this is not working for me. need a break. And I went away. And determined that with that attitude, I wasn't going to progress at all. And so I walked along the beach, you know, along what's called the hallway of mirrors, where you really look at yourself. And I happened to talk to my son at the time who called and he's also, he's a avid Jiu-Jitsu practitioner. And he said, what are you talking about? know, this is ridiculous. I go, listen, it's just not working. And, and it kind of took me off a ledge, you know, in that regard, metaphorically speaking, because it was like, No, it was just your environment that wasn't right for you, but you still love this. And so I reflected on that. And then he said, I'll send you a challenge. He goes, if you haven't signed up at this other group by the 12th, I'm going to sign you up. And that's a red rag to a bull because he said, I'll give you 12 days. did it in one. I don't, I don't like being told what to do. So I'll go, I choose, I chose to go. Yes. No, didn't Humpty Dumpty was pushed. go, no, no, no. I went because, but beside that.

You

I went in there, was a totally different environment and I found the love and the joy again, even though it's in, you know, I've been there two or three sessions already. It's just something to shift it. And I really wanted to talk about how your attitude quite often, you know, I'm a brown belt at this level. I've got a level of aptitude and skillset, but it was my attitude that was getting in the way of me progressing and something had to change. either in my situation, it was my environment. So I wanted to open that up because there's so many ways this can go. Right.

So much as I think there's also like the, environment, the environmental aspect that actually affects the attitude, uh, which then affects the altitude. mean, just that, that combination of those. We definitely need to dive into. So attitude, definitely. mean, your attitude, uh, I I'm actually very surprised by the way that you, you consider quitting and actually did quit and, and, just letting it go. Yeah. For a day, but still like I was that that surprises me because I know how much you love it.

For a day.

and you love the sport. And so it must've been really challenging for you to be in that position and to make that decision. So I know it's not easy. So maybe just, let's go through that, like the background in that, in terms of your decision thought process. Like, you, when you're in that moment of frustration, obviously that's what you were, you were really frustrated and things weren't clicking. Did you even consider that it could've just been the environment or did that ever cross your mind or?

Um, the environment, yeah, the environment was one of the first things that I, I, basically was challenged by it because the, and look, you know, for anybody who's listening from that school, it's not about the school. was, it's, it's a total different philosophy of going about training. And so the, have a specialized system that I train under and the school that I went to was kind of like an add on. was kind of like a. a token, not a token, but it wasn't a really key part of the curriculum. And if you ever, if you ever heard someone who says you play to the standard that is, that is there. And while the guys were really good tech in the exponent of it, I was used to a different expectation and standard. And so consequently my performance, felt was dropping. I wasn't actually performing to the level that I could purely because I wasn't challenged to do things in the way that I had been in the past. And so over time, that was one of the first key things, but I kept convincing myself, look, there's no other options, dude. It's either this or nothing. And yeah, last time we were talking about, you know, flying to Barcelona and that's, that's still, I'll still be doing that. But it was just that I defaulted to a level of what I felt like doing. And that really that I wasn't inspired. was having to constantly keep pushing myself to go. So that to me was the warning sign that something was right. Because if something previously lights you up and you're full of joy and you love it and you can't think about doing much other, you you talk about paddle, you light up like a Christmas tree, Lawrence. So that kind of equivalent thing is, is what I was missing and I tried to work out, well, why is it missing? And I couldn't work out the answer. So I knew the environment wasn't great, but I wasn't sure if there was an environment plus something else.

Hmm. Yeah. And I think to be clear, it's like, it's not so much the environment was in the environment. I think what you've told me is like the club isn't the problem. It's more that the club didn't resonate or align with who you were. So, you know, and, it's not, it just means that not everything is aligned with every single person. Right. We, we hope that we wish that sometimes. Um, but I'm sure it's the same thing for Barcelona, for you and Portugal, for me, it's like, I've probably seen people come and go while you actually did leave. And, know, I'm still here, but you know, there's people who have come and gone and

Yeah. Yeah.

and it just didn't resonate for them. as much as my brain says, why not? But it's really not about them, it's really more about me, right? Because it's almost like it's an attack on my, I don't know, record, homeland or attack on my decision, but it's not. It's funny how our brain kind of typically goes there. So again, so this it just really didn't align with your values or maybe something just wasn't right. And sometimes you can put your finger on it, sometimes you can't, it just sometimes is more resonance or frequency.

Yeah.

And in your case right now, you've been mentioning is more of the standard that you actually had for yourself and also the expectation. Um, but there's a difference between expectation and standards here. think sometimes it's easier to lower the expectation. That's probably what you did. You lowered the expectation, but then what happened was that you still, you want to keep you, you know, uh, out of integrity, you also have still a high standard. so lowering expectation reduces the amount of sadness or disappointment, but you don't ever want to lose your standard. and the standard has to be up here. Otherwise, if you lower the standard, now everything falls apart. This is true in business. Oftentimes, we have a certain standard or a high standard of a business, but oftentimes we get disappointed because we have this high expectation or expectations. But oftentimes, I always tell my clients is to recognize there's a difference between those two. Expectation is what you made up. So you can lower that or increase that all you want, but that could dictate how your emotional state is, long as the minimum standard is there. Like what you want is to have a high standard that everybody lives up to, not an expectation of what you think should be done. What I think is lower the expectation, but have the standard live up to a standard, not your expectation. even so, people might see that as semantic of words, but it's not. I think it's really important to recognize the standard is what holds the culture in, what keeps the culture there. And this is what how everybody's going to operate based on that standard and that standard could slowly increase over time. But as soon as you drop that standard, everything kind of falls apart. You can see that in military, you know, that's, uh, you know, right now I want reading the book, uh, turn, turn the strip around and it talks about leadership and,

I've got the book I haven't read it yet. That's cool.

Yeah, yeah. And I've been, yeah, I've been listening to it over the last couple of days. And it's, you know, the talks about leadership and that's exactly what it was. It was just like, you know, there's a top-down leadership in terms of like, you know, everybody obeys it, you know, the leader, but then they don't actually have any decisiveness on their own. it's, you know, his talk, his leadership is more style is like empowering leader, leader type of environment. which means that the employees or the people below are actual leaders as well. And that takes time. That's That's having a higher standard. to ensure that everybody can be a leader, right? So that's to me is the fundamental difference when it comes to being in the right place and also finding your crew. And this goes back to the conversation we had, know, when we did the podcast around surrounding yourself with the five, you know, closest people. that's your environment, right? And the people that you're surrounding yourself, it's going to dictate the attitude that you have, how you show up on a regular basis and how you push yourself. You know, I mean, for me, if I went to a CrossFit gym and And if the people around me just like, oh, I'm just trying to get by or try to cheat your way, not really doing, you know, technical things or not doing it right or just, know, you're going to feel like, well, if they're cheating, I'm cheating too. Like even though you might not be wired that way, but there's this, like, there's, there's a part of you just goes, well, if they're doing it, I'm going to do it too. And this happens in a lot of kids. You know, you think about the kids do it. Um, you know, you have to have a pretty strong high standard, uh, as a child to recognize like, I'm not going to cheat. even though you know, like all, know, a few of your classmates are cheating. And my daughter comes home and she's telling me on, you know, these, you know, these exams, you can just tell. mean, we knew, like when I was in school, you knew who was cheating, who wasn't. Teachers couldn't tell. Teachers didn't, either didn't want to know or they couldn't tell. But the thing is, is that you're, you yourself is the out of integrity. You could cheat if you want to and probably get away with it. But, but most people have like a sort of an integrity at least to go, no, that's my standard. I'm not going to cheat. This is the mark I'm going to get on my mark. the mark I'm gonna get based on my effort, not because I was able to find a hole in the system. And I think that that's what we mean by having a standard and also the environment around you. If people are cheating around you, it's so tempting to kind of just lower that standard, but the outcome is gonna be a very different circumstance.

Yeah, there's a principle that we got often had used in chiropractic. And it's along the lines of what Les Brown talked about a lot was, you know, in chiropractic we talk about it as being the primary oscillator. So you're the primary oscillator in the room. You set the intention and the vibration and the mood and the culture, all those kinds of things. And Les Brown talked famously about the difference between a thermometer and a thermostat. And you know, a thermometer, you're affected by your environment and, uh, and you basically contract and expand according to the temperature externally, your environment was a thermometers, uh, thermostat sets the temperature in the room. And I realized in that moment that I was more of a thermometer in this environment because I was affected by it, you know, and, and, and I have to, I have to look at why that's the case. So, you know, when I did an analysis, I mean, I spend now majority of my time. in my home office doing a lot of things. And so I found, really appreciated the socialization of Jiu-Jitsu every more, more than I thought I did. Right. Uh, previously where I was around people all the time, I could go in and do my thing and I, okay. Whereas now I'm, I'm, feel like I'm seeking it out. So when I went to an environment where I didn't feel that that was there, all it was, was just, I'm not having fun here. This is not great.

Hmm.

but it's because this is part of your identity, keep pushing it. And what I realized is that motivation will only take you to a certain point. I've said it about it many times and I was motivated enough to probably go longer than I had even thought was the case. But I got to a critical point where I went and said, no, enough, that was my threshold. I just didn't do that. So it was only through deep introspection afterwards. I went, what is it that I'm missing? What is it that I am craving about going to Barcelona? And it was the fact that Whether it's like you've ever watched the movie cheers when you walk in and everybody shouts your name. So, Hey, norm, you know, well, I, I really enjoyed that. I really enjoyed that part where, and it's hard to explain because people, when it might be in paddle as well, but it definitely is in jujitsu. You're fighting with someone intensely and then you stop. And in that, at that minute that you got around, you'll talk about anything. You don't always talk about technique. You've got, so how the kids, what's going on? You'll talk philosophy, whatever.

Mm.

And you just get back into it. And I loved that part of it and that wasn't happening. And so to me, that was, that was impacting my appreciation, my joy, my attitude towards it. And I now know that I would not be able to progress at either the right or, um, you know, with the, the intensity that I wanted to, because my attitude just wasn't, it like just going through the motion.

Hmm. Yeah, it's so hard. attitude comes from two forms. It's either one is like self-generated internally driven, like change in attitude or an external attitude of others around you or the environment can actually impact that, right? I mean, I know that, I'm hoping that my wife doesn't listen to this, I know that when Karen's attitude is not, maybe she's angry at something or mad at something, we all feel it. We all like, We try to skip around it or just like, oh, exactly. Right. And, uh, and, and it happens. And it's one of those things that you just know, and you can just feel it energetically and you can see the kids kind of shift and like, what's going on mom. And then they learn to like, okay, well, it's a sidestep that a little bit, you know, and I'm sure, I'm sure I'm the same way too. Like if I'm focused on something or I'm like having a bad day or you know, my attitude's crappy, everybody feels it too. And the kids now they're getting to that age where.

Primary oscillator, primary oscillator, yeah.

during the teenage years, if they wake up in the morning and they're just like grumpy as hell, like it affects everybody, you know, and it's happened this morning, you know, it's like, whoa, like what's going on? When you wake up on the wrong side of bed this morning, I was like, what's going on? And starts to affect my wife and then her and to fix my attitude. So they're just like a freaking virus. And that's really hard. And I think putting yourself in the right environment sometimes it's, yeah. So then you have two choices. Like one is you have to internally generate and go, no.

Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

you know, like I'm not gonna let my external circumstances affect me. I'm gonna have to internalize and really create the attitude, the right attitude to show up. And I think this is why, you know, most important thing that I felt, you know, that I needed this year, like that I've been doing on a daily basis is, you know, I have a quote that I read every single morning before I start my day. And I have a paragraph that I wrote for myself or to who I want to become or who I am. remind myself to just remind myself of that day. So no matter what has happened the night before, or whatever's happened during the day, before that, I'm going to start today as a brand new day. So I get to choose that this is my day and this is what I'm going to do and this is the actions I'm going to step into. You know, the quote I use is the man in the arena, the quote, because I just love that. I just want to make sure to remind myself like this is another day to be in the arena and not to be in the stadium watching, not to be a spectator, but to be. to be in cover with dust and blood and sweat and be in the arena to do the things you're supposed to be doing. Whether you fail or not is irrelevant, it's actually you just being the arena, that's a win for you. And that's like the reminder I need every day, that this is another day, this is another day in the ring. And that's the reminder I have. But I need that shift, I realized I wasn't doing that enough. Like every day I just get through routines, we all do this, right? Every day we just get to back to the routines and you just go through it. And then before you realize, I'm like, man, I haven't accomplished my goals. I haven't done anything. Or you just have this bad attitude about things at all. It's because you didn't set up your habits to create the attitude that you want. So I think that's important here as a daily habit, you know, for, you know, people who are at work or businesses, like how are you showing up in your, in your work life? Like how you, how's your drive? Are you listening to the news? Are you listening to all the negative things that are happening around the world? Or are you actually empowering yourself to be fired up and ready to go and be as productive as possible when you're actually there? If you're in a job like chiropractic or practitioners where people are relying on you and people you're serving people, yeah, well your attitude, you're to have to be the primary oscillator, right? Because if you're not, your team's not, and then the patients that come in are not going to be in the right attitude. So it's such an important thing because it has multiple layers and multiple impact that could change a lot of people's lives if you just happen to be the one who decides to be the beacon.

Yeah. I love that you read and you recite the man in the Reno. It is one of my favorite quotes. The one that I actually recite and recited for a long, time daily and memorize was Man's Greatest Fear by Marianne Williamson. And it was used by President Mandela in his inauguration speech. And it always reminded me to step into my fears and be okay. And it's amazing when you say something, you embody it.

Yes.

It becomes you, it becomes the expression of that. And so that was the attitude that was the identity of the person that I wanted to become. And over time by doing that, I did become that and I embodied all of that. So I love that you were doing that, that you're doing that Lawrence. And, you know, they're the kind of, they're the kind of true North that we aspire to, we work towards and there's this whole concept. particularly they talk about it a lot in sport, but it's also in education with the whole concept of talent versus work where there was a book read written years ago. I've forgotten the name of the author, but it was called, it was called talent is overrated where you can be naturally talented and that will only help you get to a point because if you ever watched that movie Rudy,

Yes.

Uh, w well, the natural, which is, think we've mentioned, I love that one as well. It talks about the, the attitude, the roadblocks, the restrictions in front of you. You may not have the natural attributes and talent to progress and move forward. You may take longer to learn tasks and tools. have to go through something 500 times where someone will go through it once, but it's not always the naturally talented and gifted who are the ones that progress.

Yes, my favorite movie. One of my favorite.

the ones that have to struggle through adversity and challenge and learn and regroup and find out they're the ones that keep moving forward. And when I reflect that to you, I'm not the naturally talented guy in jujitsu. I really not. I've had to work really, really hard at it because I'm generally 20 years older than everybody else. 20, 25 years older. Um, I've, I've done a lifetime of, of sport that has been, you use my body as a bothering batting, battering ram. I'm traditionally trained martial artist. So I've got all these things that I've got to unlearn to do that. But what I realized is what was stopping me last week was I was putting up more obstacles in my own path, which were my own ones. In addition to the ones I normally had to carry. And that's what made it a lot harder. So perhaps we can expand on that one. Cause I saw you go, Ooh, I've got things that I could talk about here. and we froze. Now back. Cool. Yeah. So no, no, no. I just saw that I went for Lawrence. Here's your cue. Here's your cue. Um, so what I said was, you know, talent's overrated. And I found that in myself that, um, jujitsu was hard enough as it was. And I then found that I was putting additional obstacles in my own way. So that was the cue if you wanted to carry on. I said, and there's multiple ways that this will play out in areas over and above this. So maybe you could leave it there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it's so true, you know, like in a team environment, the team can lift the, it's kind of like a flock of geese that fly in formation. They always fly further when they're part of a group that are all aligned in a good formation. you know, in a culture, for example, I know a lot of teams, they've got little games and rituals that they have that, you know, they may have this ugly little Ladle and no one wants to have that as the least performing person of the week and so they hand that out for the person who? who doesn't it they're games that people use to inspire themselves to bring the attitude to To progress and move forward, but just because you you agree with you. You have to have a level of baseline Skill and a lot of things, you know, but how many times have we seen, know the top rated person in a sporting draft or The top student at a school Then goes into the real world and is challenged by that either because of their uncouchability. They come across in an environment where they have expected that they'll always do well. And when they come up against an obstacle, they just, they don't have the skills or the tools to, to work around that as opposed to a kid or a person who's had to just struggle all the time. They're like, this is no mean, there's no different to anything else I've had to do, you know? So I think that that's, that's really. Yeah, that's what's really been permeating through my mind last week around that, particularly around that talent versus attitude. Duh. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yeah. I was watching some footage of a paddle game actually and first thought for my mind was when I was watching someone smash the ball down center court and see him bounce back I'm like you just made it really easy for this guy to return the ball back but to me it was like why don't you do a drop shot you know like that's gonna stretch it but you know like that's just me as the observer looking out at that but I realized that that you're right there's an unwillingness to let go of what served you previously in order to keep progressing and moving forward. it's, it is the, love how you said that, you know, the beginner's mindset, because that really, that really talks a lot about that. You know, if your attitude is that, uh, my expectation is that I, I have, this is what I've done before. And this is where, you know, a lot of the times statistically, um, you know, a lot, a lot of, a lot of industries look at exceptionally intelligent people. in their field who are subject matter experts in their field when they go into another field and they go into investing and a lot of real estate agents go this is just this is money for jam for us because these guys they used to be the smartest people in the room and they think that these skills are transferable they are to a point but you're entering a new game and if you come along with that expectation you're just going to get swallowed up and that's what happens to a lot of them who do that so they rather than looking for what are the transferable skills that I can use in this new industry, recognizing that I'm going to start. of them are prepared to go to level one. They want to jump to level 16 because that's their career in that current state. you know, interesting when I went to, this school, uh, I only just realized that, you know, when we're about it. So because I predominantly trained in no gay, uh, I don't train in gay very much. And so I've gone into this new school and I've said to the, the, the, said, instructor I'll go listen there's a new school I know you're predominantly gay do you want me to go back into a white belt and then it goes no you don't have to if you're okay with getting carved up in your blind spots in areas that you're not used to doing if you're comfortable enough to do that no by all means you we honor what you're grading and that was that's really cool so I'm entering a realm I was prepared to go all right I'll start a bass because I have these You know, the, the, the, the, the game, you know, kind of like tennis and, and, and paddle, right. That's kind of a good parallel. That's what it would be. So I've got transferable skills, but the game is slightly different. And I just went, okay, do you want me to go back? they had none of it, but, know, yeah, just have, you know, just be aware that this is a different game. So I'm like, I'm going into it. So that goal now is to get black belt in both, you know, and, and, um, that's, that's really now the new challenge and goal, which is. inspired that's that was kind of like the kick or the boost that I think I was subconsciously looking for that enthusiasm. So that's totally shifted my attitude in a week. Yeah, it will hold them back, you know, and just as you were saying that I was reminded there's a mixed martial artist called George St. Pierre, GSP, fantastic mixed martial artist. And he came through and what he always talks about is appreciating and valuing his opponent. Because before every match he used to get really anxious. We always used to pray for his opponent because I don't know about you, but the challenge and the joy, like don't get me wrong. I want to win every time I go and do something. I don't go out there and go, Hey, I want to lose today. But what I want is someone to bring the best out in me. And I want to win in the last five seconds of a round or with you to be like you, it's a tight mate and you win in a tiebreaker. They're the ones that you get pushed to the edge. You bring all of your best game and you triumph to me. They're the best. They're the best. I don't want to. annihilate someone on a map. There's no joy in that. And I think that when you're wanting to improve, you embrace people. don't see them as competition as such, but you look at them as you need them. I actually need you. I need you to get better. I need you to push me. I need you to challenge me. need you to be, you know, for every, for every hero, there's an anti-hero and the duality. and the conflict and the challenge that each brings to the situation brings the best out of each other and I think that that's whenever you want to move forward you have to keep surveying who you're with and working out whether they're elevating you, they're challenging you to bring your A-game because you get a certain level of validation if you constantly win with no effort But we're talking about a different thing. We're talking about altitude and just how far you can go, whatever that is, whatever metric that is for you, you will only do that if you're in an environment of people, situations like Eagle, they saw and they need that kind of the collective of everybody to keep elevating and moving, moving upward. That's, that's really the gist of what we wanted to talk about today. Yeah. Yeah. partners yet.

I'm back. Sorry about that. Yeah, for sure. I love that book. That's a great book because it really kind of highlights like whether or not, you know, are you born an athlete or did you develop skills in athlete? And I think the main conclusion is that it really is kind of both, right? It's kind of the unique, both you, you need some raw talents to, to, kind of perform certain things. Like, you know, it's hard to be a basketball player when you're only five foot, uh, you know, not impossible, but like it to be in the NBA to be the bros. Like I think the shortest person was like five, six, right?

Yeah. And it's, it's better when you, when you're part of a group. I agree with you totally. Like there's, that's the whole saying of a team of champions versus a champion team. And particularly in a champion team scenario, there's a collective, like you said, there's a, there's a collective mission that everybody's got buying in. And as a result of that, what they're doing is that they're, they're working on things over and above their own individual glory. And I think that's always a mark of a good team is when they're the selfless acts.

It is going to hinder you and it's going to be very difficult. But at the same time, just because you're tall doesn't mean you're going to be a great basketball player either. So it's like the combination of like skills and heart. And what we're talking about with Rudy, you know, it is all about heart, right? He had the massive heart, but he didn't have the necessarily physical attributes, but he just really wanted to play. And he just kind of pursued where most people would have given up. And I think that's the main story outline for Rudy and why it's so inspirational is because he just never gave up.

the that help the team rather than the individual. they're always, they're always the metrics that coaches of sporting teams look at to say, you might not have got a statistic for this play, but we saw what you did to get things done so that someone else may shine. And then consequently, sometimes that's what happens in a team. You don't worry, you worry less about your individual glory. You look at it and say, how is this going to advance my group, my mission?

And people saw that. I think that people saw the heart and the courage that he actually had. even though he would never play, they really want to kind of give him a chance because of the heart and determination. I think this is something you can control. Like the talents, how short you are, how tall you are, how big you are, like those things we can't control. But the things that you can control is how you show up and how you show up on a daily basis. And I think that's what the attitude is. And that's what I mean by internally driven. You have to be internally driven to be able to go decide on

collective by virtue of my attitude. What, do I need to be? How do I, how do I bring that out in the people around me? And sure, you know, having your individual acknowledgement is self validating, but you know, there's, very few scenarios that I know where you team sports that you get an individual, you know, this team won, but this guy was, uh,

Is this something that you can or cannot do? I think for me, you know, I was in a mastermind yesterday, a friend of mine came through town and to Lisbon and he had a one day mastermind. He just invited some of his clients and he just invited me because I, you know, we were, we were here. Uh, I was here. And so I got, yeah, sure. I love to join and, participate. And, and I realized, you know, like you talk about the home office, you know, I have a home office that's here and you know, it's, it's great and everything, but I had a home office for God knows like probably 10 years now. And.

He won it all on himself. No, you don't. have individual acknowledgments and awards, but it's it's a team event. And in those situations, either you've got to, you've got to make it clear. Am I going to be part of something bigger than me or am I really just looking at it from my own self perspective? And if you do, then team sports aren't really right for you.

The challenge is we were actually in the master one was actually held in a coworking space in the middle heart of Lisbon. There's tons of people that are like, there's just a lot of young entrepreneurial type all doing their own thing gathering. And there's, there's a little bit of, I guess, jealousy in a little bit. It's like, man, you know, I kind of wish there was a little bit of that where I get to go and show up to work, work on my own thing, but you get to see the energy of what other people are working and working at and what they're doing. So there's that synergy and that energy around you that can really change the attitude about life and how you show up. And so that to me was, that was interesting. And also the mastermind itself and realizing like there's some smart people around the world and they, when they start giving you some, mean, I didn't learn anything massively new, but what I did was, was like hanging around like a couple of these guys for the whole entire day, realizing like, okay. I know I need to do this, but I've never been driven to go and do it. But because I was there, I was like, yeah, that those are like the four steps that I should be doing that I haven't done in years. and so at the end, we're like all committing to like, what are we going to do? I'm like, okay, this is what I'm to commit to do. And the first thing I did today when I had like an hour, I'm like, okay, I'm going to do this. I just like knocked it off, like knocked off the first three thing on that list, which is because I know I wouldn't have done that if I didn't go through yesterday. I remember when I first graduated and you know, I was definitely never the smartest. I was definitely near the top. But then when I got to Chiropractic College, I realized that there's a lot of smart people smarter than me. You know, I was like one of the top students in high school. And then when you go to university, you start to realize like, oh, there's just as smart as me and they're athletic as well, which I didn't have. And then when you go to Chiropractic, it was like... You get chosen between 160 people out of like three or 4,000 applicants. You're like, Oh, now I'm the elite of the elite. And now like I'm somewhere down the middle or maybe in the bottom end. And you start realizing that as you go higher and higher levels, you start realizing how much harder you actually have to work to kind of fight for your place. And, and I'm not talking about Mark's because sure Mark's I gave up long time ago. I had nineties in high school, but then realized that it didn't matter when I went to car, about the college. It's like, as long as I did well enough. I mean, sure. You got to do well enough to pass, but I didn't. but it was, realized there was other skills that I needed to kind of hone in on and work on. And I think it's that pursuit of what you just sort of said is that pursuit of like, I had to come from like starting point, you know, had to, like I was very introverted, I'm very shy as a kid and I had to go through my late teens and early twenties to really kind of work at it and to be better at that and being inspired by, you know, people, mentors and people that you saw on stages to go like, oh, we want to be like that one day. and you work at that. when I first graduated, man, that was tough because it was like, I thought I was one of the better adjusters in my class and I was still crap. And I was like, and I have to start from scratch again. You know, like it's like that whole like rookie mentality. You just have to start as a beginner again. And that beginner's mindset is really hard, especially when you rise to the top and then you got to start again. You rise to the top, you got to start again. And I think attitude of the beginner's mindset is such an important element. most people don't talk about, we don't really think about, because most people I find, especially a lot of clients who have really had success in their careers, in their business, but they're trying to do something new, whether they go into coaching or they go into a totally different realm, but because they've had this certain expectation of success, they don't want to go back to the beginner's mindset, they don't want to have to start from scratch. And that's the challenge, I I go through that all the time, like I don't want to have to go back to that, but then... When you start to do it and goes, no, what if I did have a beginner's mindset here? And what if I just had a longer timeframe instead of expecting success tomorrow, I'm expecting success in six months or a year and giving myself a little bit longer runway. All of a sudden I'm willing to do the work to apply, to create the success, you know, starting from scratch. And that can be very difficult for some people. Some people can't let it go. I see this in paddle, you know, you got a great tennis player, you know, who's fantastic, got a great forehand. can hit a hard really ball really hard. come in the paddle. They, can dominate the rookies at the beginning because they got this beautiful hand and smash and everything else. But when you play the game of paddle after a while, you can punch it as hard as you want. The ball's bouncing back against the wall. It's coming right back to you. It's actually the wrong technique. It's a different, totally different spin. So you get to a certain point and you get frustrated because like, Oh, I can't ace people anymore. No, no one has aces in paddle like really rarely, because that's not the point. You want to kind of keep the ball slower. You want to be patient. And that's difficult for most people to relearn. And the people I find that haven't learned to adapt become, they then can advance in paddle, which is totally different sport. The people who are stuck to their old ways because they don't want to let go of their special skill, maybe a strong forehand or maybe a strong smash. They don't want to let that go. They kind of plateau. They don't get better. They just kind of stay at this level and they only compete at that level. And that's the perfect backdrop on exactly what happens when you don't. adapt the beginner's mindset. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, wow. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Wow, that's amazing. That's fantastic. mean, actually the parallel that when you just sort of said to me reminds me of like the Tiger 21, you know, members that I have and I facilitate. could most of the members that I have, you know, without disclosing names or anything, like it's that they are mostly wealth creators. were mostly entrepreneurs. They actually, all of them are entrepreneurs. So they are really successful in their lives, like extremely successful in their businesses and exited, you know, multiple multiples. And, but they come in, the people who join Tiger, they have these amazing business skills that really got to the level that they're in. They obviously have very experienced when it comes to buying and selling a business and also creating a business and seeing what a business potential is. But what they're not necessarily great at is actually wealth preservation. They created a lot of wealth, but they don't necessarily have the skillset to maintain. grow the current wealth they have to further but more importantly, they join like Tiger to maintain and preserve the wealth that they actually have. Because a lot of people it's like winning the lottery sometimes you win the lottery but you continue the same habits you're going to lose it all very, quickly. And so at least they go most of the members have the it there they already been successful. They're usually the smartest person in the room always until you get to this room and you realize like they're all alphas. They're all like, you know, not all of us, but like they all have this like, they all have created their own success in their own right. But they have to be able to pull back and step back a little bit and go, you know what, I'm surrounded by my peers. And these peers have just done exactly what I've done, but in a totally different industry. And can I, can you have the ability to sit back and actually listen to a different perspective? And in order for you to do that, you have to adopt that beginner's mindset that I don't know everything. I know everything in my industry or my field or my specialty, whatever that is. But when I'm in a room full of tigers, those tigers are also killers in their own industries. And they might have more knowledge than I do in their respective areas, which can help me better myself. And so a member joins, I look for a member not just because they have enough capital, but they actually have enough willingness to step in here to really learn as a beginner mindset, to learn. from each other and to be willing to be humble enough to go, I'm not the smartest or do I care to be the smartest? I want to learn from everybody so we can all learn together to be smarter investors, be smarter wealth creators and be smarter wealth preservation and to have topics discussed. And that's exactly the same thing. And I've seen these guys and I think the reason why they're so successful is because they have that learner's mentality. They continue, want to learn and be better no matter what stage they're in. Most people, they're not doing it because they think they're the smartest. They're always welcoming different opinions and because they learn, they're learning to have better improvements from others and then they adapt it to their life and their life improves because they're willing to adapt. I find that a lot of people are really resilient to that. That's our resistance to that. A lot of people, prospects we probably speak to, I'm not sure about you, I know a lot of prospects, like they want something but they're not willing to listen. They're not willing to see what their blind spots are. They're not willing to engage in vulnerability to allow themselves to be weakened by their thoughts. And so therefore that actually can be worked as a detriment to their growth. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's, it's, it's fighting a, sometimes it's about finding a common enemy, you know, like amongst the peers. It's not a competition about each other. It is a competition with each other, but at the same time, it's like the common enemy is mediocrity, right? Or a common enemy could be something you're fighting against together. And by, you know, I think that's like the concept of the 300, right? The 300, like, you know, the, the Greek, it's Greek, right? It's like the Greek, uh, the war is Spartans, right? and the Spartans are there, they train harder than anybody else. And they train harder, so hard in fact, from what I hear during the training. So that makes that when they go to war, it's easy. And the training was harder than the war itself. And this is like that, it's like the lifting of each other. And it reminds me of like what the Navy SEALs go through, right? I remember speaking to a colleague or a friend that I knew that was in the Navy SEALs. He was a Navy SEAL sniper. And I asked him about, you know, who makes it? who, you know, is it the strongest, most athletic people? Like, because there's a lot of university and collegiate athletes, you know, the top athletes and Olympians or whatever go to Navy SEAL training. And they said, no, no, no, those are the, those are definitely the first ones to go. And I'm like, what you talking about? Like during how week? And I'm like, really? I'm like, but. He goes, yeah, because the people who are think that they've always been the top of their class, top of their school, top of the things that they're the best at, what we've been describing, when they're the best at everything, like they are, they think they're the God's gift in terms of the physique and then their body and then their strength. But what they don't realize is that the Hell Week and the whole Navy SEAL training, all the whole training, not just that week, is designed to break you down. And so your attitude could be like, am the best, but the problem is that Navy SEALs aren't looking for the best. They're looking for the best, but who actually are willing to die for their brothers and sisters beside them. And so when your own purpose is to prove to yourself that you can make it, you will never make it. And he said, the people that actually make it are the people they can find a greater purpose in staying together as a band of brothers and sisters to be able to come together and go on. we're gonna do this together, I'm doing it for you and you help your fellow man survive and keep out each other. When they have a purpose like that, those are the ones who actually make it through camp. And I thought that was very surprising, like an answer because you would think it's as strong as if it is not. They're strong and fit for no doubt about it. That's like almost the minimum requirement, right? But it's the people who get it or have the mental attitude that this is a collective and we're gonna do this together and we're gonna win together. And that's why it's such, if you look at the Navy SEALs, that's why there's such a brotherhood. The brotherhood is that they live for die for each other. And the movies depict that in real life. That's pretty much it. They live and die together to go find a purpose and a mission. And because they need that trust, they need to trust that when you go forth into an enemy territory, that your brother behind you has your back. You have to have that trust. If you're a single individual athlete going there, you might be the strongest and fittest. But if you don't trust the man behind you, you're going to look back just to check. And that's when fatal error can be made. And I think that's what's such an important element. so basically on what you're talking about, it's like everybody's gotta lift each other to get to that point. Yeah, that's the power of team sports. So I hope that was a guys. mean, that was a great podcast sign. You know, thanks for bringing that insight. You know, Jim, I think it's a great topic to kind of get into. we could delve so much around the attitude and how it affects us, not just internally, but externally and how it affects everybody else. And so it really comes down to a choice and the choice is always up to you at any given moment. You can switch your attitude and it's a choice. You can just switch your posture. You can switch your mental attitude. You can switch how you breathe and how you stand. That in itself is a change in attitude which can not only be infectious for you, but can be infectious around people around you. So the choice is always up to you. It's never an external circumstances. So I hope this has been helpful to you guys. This is Wabi Sabi, the art of imperfection. I hope to see you on the next episode. Take care.