Seasonal Shift & Self-Reflection

Welcome to Wabi Sabi, the art of imperfection as we lie here as we, actually we're not lying here, but as we kind of dive deeper into this conversation, I think this is pertinent to bring this up because as we approach a seasonal end, guess, I think this could be applied no matter when you're hearing this. I think it's important for us to kind of look at when a season ends and another one journey begins. I think this is an appropriate kind of discussion of what we're gonna be talking about because. as we reflect upon the past, there's always going to be layers and layers of imperfection. And I think some people get caught up in that imperfection and then beat themselves up. And some people look at those imperfection and go, and how can I do better? And all of it, it's the same thing. The circumstances are happening to you, but it's how you dictate, how you transform them, how you see yourself moving forward changes depending on how you see, you know, the circumstances. So I love for us to kind of talk a little bit about that. Cause Jim, you set this up for me and let's kind of have a discussion around

Yeah, man. Well, I just, thought that we could deep dive into just the, the, I guess the end of the year, particularly like, depending on when this comes out, like at the time of recording, we, you know, we're in the latter part of the year and, you know, a lot of people are starting to look back on the year and look at, you know, some amazing things that they did, uh, some things that they may not have been able to achieve that they thought they hope we're hoping to, and then there's also then the people who are exhausted, tired, burnt out and how they're going to approach a traditionally busy period from a social perspective. uh, I've just had these recurring, particularly in a lot of coaching calls that I've been having. And that's why I thought, you know, I was interested to see if you found the same thing, but so many themes keep kind of intersect. And one of them right now is people just being tired, exhausted. Um, They've got too many things to do, not enough time. They've got social functions. They've got school functions. Uh, if they've got kids and they just, yeah, they're, running out of, um, basically bandwidth to have it'll do it all. So that's perhaps I thought we could deep dive into that.

Yeah, I think every season, we'll call it seasons because I every season sort of has its pros and cons. At the beginning of a year, typically there's always this momentum of excitement, of achievement and goals. A second quarter is usually either depending on how well you went with the first quarter. Usually first quarter goes well because you got a bit of momentum. find that actually Australia is a little bit harder because I think for people in Australia, because you're starting the season in the summer.

Yeah, yeah.

So you kind of have this delay. So this is not always true, but I think I feel like the the Western, know, like North American or European starts off a little bit better because you know, it is cold and there's nothing to do but to actually do work. Whereas Australia does take a while to kind of settle in your school. Kids are in school holidays and you really don't kind of get a good start until probably the end of around February time. So anyways, having said that, I think the first quarter is good.

I was about to say the same thing. There's a lot of people who hit February and go, the last time I blinked, kids were finishing school, and now it's February, where did that time go?

Yeah, yeah. So first quarter cannot be hit and miss, like especially for people in Australia, it's either hit and miss. And then your second quarter typically is either, you you're either disappointed or you're really excited. And then this is where I feel the second quarter, you start to either just make, just make it and you know, kind of evens out. And then third quarter is where I find people really slow down because it's, you're only halfway through the year and you, you kind of just sort of feel like, man, there's so much more to go. And I feel like, I don't know if I've accomplished enough and I don't know if I can sustain this. And by the fourth quarter, like you just kind of run out of steam. And I think this is sort of a typical pattern for a lot of people. And I'm not saying everyone feels this way, but it is a very typical pattern that we need to kind of monitor and observe. And I think it happens every single year and we go through the cycle year in, year out. And I know I go through that sometimes. And I think it's important for us to kind of reflect upon those and recognize those patterns and seeing how we can, you know, as we approach a new year to think about, okay, well, how can we do it differently to ensure that that doesn't happen this year?

Yeah. Lawrence, as you know, we've, we've moved to Scotland. I have not gotten used to how dark it gets so early. Right. So, so this whole, you know, Oh my God. Yeah. It's like quarter to four. It's starting to get dark. And I remember being as a kid this time of year, like my mom and dad have to chase me indoors. Cause it's getting to nine, nine 30 at night. It's like, come on, you're to get to bed. And it's like,

It's worse than the UK, I mean, sorry, worse than London, right? So it's, it's, yeah.

No, I've got too much supply. Now it's 3 45. I'm starting to yawn and I'm thinking, hang on a sec. This is ridiculous. So, but, but compounding that, uh, I find it really interesting that I've got, because like you, I work in multiple time zones and multiple, um, sort of continents throughout the world. Some, some areas are firing and some areas, uh, are basically going into holiday mode. So in Australia, for example, and a lot of Southern Hemisphere, a lot of people are starting to.

Yeah.

put the queue in the rack, start starting to wind up for the year. If not right now, um, at the time of recording, probably in another week or so, and that's it. They're done for the year. Now they're in holiday mode, um, in Europe, in another part, they're just full steam ahead. You'll have a day off and whatever in the U S so it's just really bizarre. And when you're at the interim of all of that, when you're kind of like the intersection of all these zones, uh, yeah, I, I, I, I'll be honest. That's, that's why I wanted to talk about that today because I've got Some people are just cruising and going, yeah, we're going to holomotor. Others are just into it. And I'm just finding myself going, where do I fit in all this?

Yeah, it's really hard. definitely got a minute this year, affected me more this year, especially during our summer, especially European summer when you hit July and August, like where all your friends and all your, you know, people that are here are like off their traveling and everything else. And, know, I got a couple of holidays in their summer, but whereas in, you know, my clients who are in Australia, it's like, we're on full steam ahead, like this is their winter and this is like, and so this is now we're in the opposite side of things and how we're on full steam ahead and yet the Australians are sort of winding down and ready for summer. And I think what it speaks to is that how we are often dictated by our external circumstances, you know, things that are actually happening and recognizing that there is seasons in your life, there's seasons in your business and to also appreciate that too as well.

Yeah. Yeah.

that you need to take the breaks when you need to take the breaks. And you also need to recognize that, you know, when you should be pushing, you know, the pedal. Uh, and I think rec, if we don't do that, oftentimes that leads to burnout. And I think it's really hard to sustain a whole entire year of full steam ahead. Like some people can do it, but I find that really, really difficult. And that's how I always encourage my clients to always like one of the first thing I said, when I was in ballet, when we did the retreat, I said, the first thing you guys all need to do right now is I want you to go, go in your calendar and you need to book for. weeks of holiday right now, right? If you're taking more, great, go for it, but I would say go and book those dates now. Become though the rocks and they're the ones that, you know, don't change. And I think work, then you plan everything around those dates because oftentimes most people don't plan their breaks until it's too late. And by the time you are like, oh man, I need a holiday, you're already burnt out, right? So you don't want to be put in that position. You want to put those. holidays every quarter in play so you know exactly what's going on. You know how hard you need to work and and then and you know navigate around that. think that's the most important thing I think most people need to do as they head into a new year is to go okay what are days that you need to take breaks off? I recommend you know four every quarter have a week off somewhere or a weekend have something that you can look forward to and pencil it in and you know the first question most people will say well first resistance they're say well it goes I don't know when I'm take a holiday well it doesn't matter just look in the calendar find a date that works, right? And just book it in. And you know, you can always change your mind. It's not asking you to like be okay, you have to take it on November 22nd. Like just put it on the calendar. But I guarantee you, 75 % of the time, you probably end up taking it those times because it's already in the calendar, right? So I think that's really important. If you have no kids, you can take it whenever you want. But if you have kids, you're probably gonna have to work around school holiday. So it's not like you don't know when they are. So it's just having that, know, that extra five, 10 minutes or whatever to find out when those school holidays are and then book ahead. Now you're one step. The step two is going, okay, where are going to go? Right? It's not good enough just to book it. Where do you think you want to go? And I think having that thought process really drives you to have something to aspire to, something to look forward to, but also know when you're going to need to map out your... your plan. if you're like mapping on a marathon, for example, you know where your mile markers are, you know when you can step up when you can step down and slow down. mean, you know, those are the things that I think is important in a year. If you want to have a better year next year than you have this year, then it's having those strategic plans in place.

Yeah, totally. I, know, when we were based in Australia, I would always take January and parts of January off and go North and get some sun and just two weeks up as far North in Australia or get to Bali, Fiji, whatever. And that was, that was really helpful because it would break up the winter. And I think I've realized that that's actually what I'm going to be doing, but just in reverse now. So I'll definitely take a couple of weeks in the middle of the year, and then also a couple of weeks. So it will synchronize at least with one. Continent or one area so it's like I'm in holiday mode in in in the middle of June July August which is European but then also I'd take a couple of weeks in the in December January area for the same reason and

You mean you said when you were in Australia you took July, August, not January, right? Yeah, yeah.

Sorry, what did I say? January? Yeah, I mean, I've been there, but yeah, so I used to, I used to take a break then, but I always used to break it up like a structured one as well as weekend is a few days here and there aside from conferences. And interestingly, just, I think it was two days ago that I was just reading the times of London article. They were talking about the merits of taking, some people will take four weeks off in one hit and other people who take, like you just said, a week every quarter or two weeks every so often. And I found without doubt that people took more regular breaks, but shorter breaks, were a lot better off in terms of their mental health and their freshness because they always had something to work towards or had something that they would look forward to and it kept them fresh. And that was, that's definitely what I found as well too.

think once in a while, I've done that actually twice. If not three times, I think both times actually took a month off into Europe. So I had four weeks off into Europe and those were great things, but I don't know if it's sustainable, depending on your business, obviously, depending on how you structure your business and in your life, it's quite difficult for most people to take four weeks off in a year. However, I think once in a while, I think we did that every four years, we did that, we took a whole entire month, traveled with all of Europe and that was amazing. you know, it was really amazing to be able to kind of spend that much quality time with everybody in the family to kind of go off like that. but again, I do agree. I feel like having more frequent breaks is better mentally for me than it is to have condense it all in one go.

And that may, that may not, that's one solution. There's, really been sitting a lot with, um, with this concept of sustainable capacity and also slow productivity, know, the Cal Newport book of slow practice. I've really been sitting with that and looking at, okay, so you can go on holiday, can be in holiday mode, but how can you build that feeling internally? You know, like internally and you're in your day to day. And so I've really had to work.

Hmm. Mm-hmm.

at a level where I felt that I had, took the pressure off myself and I was operating at a lower level of intensity. And as a result, I didn't get as fatigued. you know, like years ago, I was talking to someone about this just yesterday and talking about this as a concept where, you know, I used to love running. I don't run as much now. My hip doesn't handle running the level that it did. used to run all the time. There was two types of runs. There'd be these ones where you'd go and gap it and you'd run as hard as you could and push yourself and check the stopwatch. Oh wow, that's a personal best time. That's fantastic. But I was so focused on the outcome that I pushed myself and quite often I'm depleted or exhausted. That's what happens when I go to Jiu Jitsu, et cetera. But there's other types of runs that I was doing where I would just back off the pace a little bit and it might, the run might've taken two or three minutes longer. But what I enjoyed, I was just in a different state of flow and I enjoyed the run a lot more. Wasn't as exhausted and tired. So it's helped me understand that sometimes the pressure and the extra pressure that I put on myself to do things quite often can be exhausting. And if I just change my relationship to how I went about that, that could make a big difference as well. I feel like a holiday within my normal day to day.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. You know what I think the biggest challenge I think I found that's within myself and also others is that it's actually the amount of, it's getting into a rhythm when you're actually in focus time. I know I've really been challenged by this too. Although you have like, you have all the intention to get focused and go like, all right, I gotta do this, this and this. I'm gonna just be focused for the next 12 weeks or for the next week, even for the day even sometimes. What ends up happening is that I find that your day-to-day routines and life and circumstances really prevent you from doing that. So I'm talking about getting kids to school or something's happening at, they have an exam to study for, or there's these meetings that come up or these unusual things that kind of, not unusual, but routine things that kind of keep on coming at you. even though your intention is there to be like, okay, I'm get focused on work. I'm gonna do all these things. I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna do all this stuff. But oftentimes, like our day-to-day life, circumstances actually prevent us from doing the things we know we need to do. So it's almost like our external, like our circumstances we put ourselves in, these routines, unconsciously or consciously, become more valuable to the things that we know we need to do. And it's really hard to cut, it's because it's not just two things. And the reason why I'm mentioning this is because I want people to understand is it's not just about you having the intention and building this ritual and then going, okay, from now from here on in of January 1st or Mars is first, I'm gonna do ABC. I'm gonna commit to doing ABC. But if you don't actually think about strategically about how to navigate or remove the circumstances that prevent you from doing them in the first place. I think it's a it's like an uphill battle that you may not actually win because I think that your normal day to day life will actually win over because you've been doing that for a long.

Yeah, exactly. So a lot of, he's, he's the question, you know, like how much of that is urgent and important and how much of it is, is urgent and unimportant, you know, and that, and that's the filter through which, you know, I've really been looking at a whole lot of things that I do that I went, okay, do I have to, but for example, I was planning on doing running two events early next year and then I really went for a walk. Uh, through, through the botanical gardens, I'm going to chill that state and went, what if I just made it one? What if I just combined it and simplified? So that's where my thinking has been maybe probably as a reflection of just the intensity with which I've lived this year. I'm just trying to reflect and look back and go, okay, if you can simplify, why don't you? And just because that's all set up, is it serving you and all those kinds of things. So that's you're right. There's certain things that are priority kids. That's the busiest time in my life when our kids were going through school age and there was activities and there's holidays, all those kinds of, it's the busiest time. And without doubt, that's the, if you've got kids, that's the biggest demand on you time financially as well too. But then when you're away from that, you can look at that and go, okay, well I have choice. And I do, have the freedom to have some choice that I didn't have. few years ago and I perhaps I look at it from the perspective of going, okay, why, can I simplify? What can I complicate? And that's what I mean by, you know, sustainable capacity. Like how do I keep going on so that I'm not busting for a holiday? I'm looking forward to it because the best holidays I'm not sure about you Lawrence were the ones where I was like, I'm feeling a flow. I'm feeling fantastic. Oh, I've got a week. I've got a holiday next week. Brilliant. As opposed to the one where four weeks out or three weeks out, I'm going, I'm clawing to it just counting down the days until I get there. I know that I've arrived at it in different way. So that's why I'm trying to find the sustainability within my daily habits as opposed to just limping across the

It's, um, it's definitely one of those balancing acts. think that a parent has to go through and it is very challenging, especially if you've got younger kids. I think as the kids get older, it's less demanding, but you know, I still got to need to be there. And I find one of the biggest challenges that our brain and dreams have so much power that we want to do A, B and C. And if, if you think about all the things that we want to do in the you know, as we plan our goals and everything else is always adding to things. And so we're adding things to an already jam packed schedule, but we never actually spend the time to like remove and systematically reduce the things that we shouldn't do. And it's like, it's almost like, it's like your wardrobe, right? Most of the time we, just, oh my God, that's a nice shirt or that's a nice pair of pants, or you keep, you accumulating and buy and consume.

Yeah. Correct.

but we don't actually spend the time to like maybe go through your wardrobe and go like, you know, I haven't worn that shirt for like three years. Like I probably should just give it away or just, you know, and just move on with it. And that's hard. It's hard to let go of things you've already done. And I think this is why it becomes more challenging as we get older is because you've accumulated all of these rituals. You accumulated all these things in your life that you're just so used to doing.

Yeah.

you know, just as how you've always done it, but we never really questioned like, should I be doing that still? You know, and until you, I'm just actually speaking out loud of thinking like, oh, wait a second, like, this is exactly what I need to do is before I start thinking about next year, what do I need to stop doing? What do I need to just go, you know what? It didn't work last year, didn't work the year before, maybe I should just stop doing that and free up some time before I can actually add more things because

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

that we're trying to talk about how to be more successful, right? Because if you don't remove those things, you're not gonna, you can't add more to a plate that you already feel full. And that's probably why we feel burnt out in the first place, because we're just trying to add more things we need to do. And I think it's challenging for any business owner right now, because you've got so many things you need to do, you need to do podcasts, or you need to like write more stuff, you gotta be more, add more social media content. And it's like, you're just adding more stuff. And you're just like, I don't have time for this. And then so simply because we actually haven't evaluated what are the things that we need to give up on.

Yeah, and you perfectly perfectly explained their loans because a lot of times we don't we take it on we take it on as gospel. We don't substitute and go, OK, I was doing this. Now I'll change. We just go and and and and and plus. And you don't even realize it and it can happen and creep up on you very quickly. I mean, as as as we know, we've both moved and I've moved within a couple of years. And we didn't have kids and we didn't have a whole lot of complexity and the stuff that we still had to get rid of in living in Spain after two years. It's a holy moly man. How long were we here? And it's like, when you do a cull, how did I collect all this stuff in two years? So it creeps up on you. don't even realize it's happening.

Man, it's so fast. it just, it's amazing. Like we've been here for two and a half years and most of the things are new and you just realize like we're just living in such a consuming world. Like I don't even buy a lot of stuff. It's just that you just happen to be like, oh, I kind of need that. So you buy it and you, oh, you kind of, and you just accumulate it. You just don't throw away stuff. And it's like, wow, how, it's just amazing how much, especially if someone who hasn't moved, who's, you know, been in the same business or practice or whatever it is for an extra period of time. there are probably tons of things that you just probably don't ever use. You bought it like 10 years ago, but you still have it in the office or still have it in the business that you probably should get rid of. anyway, so that's something I've been thinking a lot about as we transition, we're still kind of somewhat warm here. as we transition to warmer to colder climates, you're welcome. just thought I rubbed that in a bit. Yeah, yeah. We're finally getting to maybe some days below 20.

Yeah, thanks. Yeah, thanks. Yeah. I heard it. Don't worry. Don't worry.

And so I need to look at my wardrobe, you know, as I transition from t-shirts to, you know, to long sleeve tops now. I need to, like, I started calling, I like got rid of these shirts and even though they're still good looking shirts, I'm like, but I haven't worn them last this year and I didn't wear them last year. But there's like this, it's a weird energy to like not want to get rid of something because, but I could, right? I could wear it, even though I didn't wear it the whole summer.

Yeah. Yeah.

I, it's what, is that? Why are we finding it so difficult to get rid of things, Jim?

I don't know. Maybe it's because you loved, you know, like I love that shirt. I did the same thing. I got rid of a whole lot of things before we moved to Australia. Then again, in Spain and I loved them. Some of my, you know, the polo tops and whatever. I loved them. Uh, and I was attached to them. So that was the, the, the attachment or de-attachment process I had to go through. Rot rewired it for me was like, Hey, listen, you're a generous person by nature. think, you think nothing of donating money to people and causes. Why don't you just donate? stuff to people that you don't need anymore. It's the same thing and they're going to be and I'll, and that really helped for me. So I'm like, Hey, I'm helping a lot of people by doing this. And that just made that whole process a lot easier. Um, but you know what I was thinking, how, quickly you accumulate stuff. I'll give you an example. You know, I anybody who's watching knows that I've got a closed, uh, you know, very short haircut. Um, most times and you know, I, shave my head pretty much every day. Right. And

Yeah.

You know, so I've got a razor and I went, I went to buy, you know, I'll always have one and two, two braids. Sorry. Like, yeah. Rises that I, that I'll use. And I went and bought a new box of raiser the other day and they had a whole, um, shaving stick on there as well. And it was much cheaper to buy the whole unit than to buy the replacement. So I bought one. I've actually got now three, and then I bought a, a grooming kit and in there. They've got, oh, we'll throw in an extra Gillette razor for you as well. So suddenly going from one to four, I don't need four, but that just shows you how quickly you collect stuff, you know? And, you know, I think if I'm here any longer, there'll be other deals and what, and suddenly I've got 15 razors I don't even need, even though I just need one. And that's how it accumulates. You don't realize.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think so that the point of the matter is I think the lesson here for all of you as you prepare for a new season, it's like before you actually go do some goal setting before you actually think about what you're going to want to try to achieve next year, maybe the first thing you should be doing is, okay, what do I need to get rid of off my plate? You know, and sometimes that's really difficult because oftentimes you don't think about it. So go with something simple as what we just described, even though I say it's simple is actually not that simple. The, I mean by is go to your wardrobe and go, okay, how can I get rid of some of these clothes? Right? Because you might not think that's anything to do with business, but it has everything to do with business because I think you train your brain to start looking, you're taking an action of removing things from your life. You're trying to, you're taking action of, you know, making decisions. Now you're actually priming your brain and your mental capacity to actually do the same thing for your business as well. So I would definitely encourage you to start there. Start with your home. Start with something small, something that it's insignificant, whether you keep this t-shirt or not. And I think you start to get this feeling like, oh, this wasn't so bad. So you kind of almost train your brain to be like, it is okay. Then you might go into your office. Let's say you're in your office and maybe go like physically, let's start with some physical stuff, right? Cause that's not risky, which is like, what do I need to get rid of in my office that no longer serves me or doesn't really need to be here anymore and start to remove those things, right? Physically. Then I think you can lead into this. So you're building up towards a process where you're now going, all right. Let's reevaluate our year and look at some of the process or systems or something that you're currently doing, you pay for, maybe it's like a subscription or something that you probably don't need and maybe start getting rid of it. And oftentimes it's like, you know, it's about recognizing it and actually putting, because the thing is with subscriptions, we don't realize we're doing it. We don't realize, like I remember one time I look at my business like years, I know, like I literally was paying for this subscription for this easy pay, I think it was. for two years that I didn't even know I was paying. I accumulated thousands of dollars that I wouldn't even know I was paying because they never sent me an invoice because they just took the money and they never sent the invoice that each month. And so I didn't know until like I was evaluating business. I'm like, why did it have been contained for two years, a monthly fee of like, I don't know, 30 or $50 every month. I'm like, how did I not know this? I...

Yeah. What? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

call them, they gave me some money back, but I definitely lost at least $1,500 or something. Now it may be small, might be big, whatever. But it's still at the point is, there's so many subscription services that we're paying for that we don't even realize like, I'll give you a perfect example. I bought audio audible, I used to listen to like a lot of audio books. Which I say used to is because I last year, I purchased a they had a deal on to buy a whole year you can buy 12 credits ahead of time for like one low price. I'm like, done. All right, fine. I'll buy 12 credits.

Yep. Yep.

Literally the next day, okay, the next so I paid like 150 euros or whatever whatever it was for 12 credits It was you know, I thought I was like, yes, I 12 credits. I don't have to pay for this monthly game feel guilty of it The next day I discover Spotify premium, which I have it's part of her premium I can listen to audiobooks for free. I could give me certain amount. I'm like damn it like this sucks so I've been sitting on this like guilt of like, know these 12 credits I pay for it that I don't even need

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sitting on it and guess what happened? Just three days ago last week, no, no, they basically renewed it because I was on an annual subscription and then now I got another 24. But here's the kicker, because I'm on the annual, they don't hold 24, they can only hold up to 18. So therefore not only did I have to pay an extra 12, I lost six credits because they can't store more than that. I'm like, and then what happens? I spent probably 45 minutes on.

They didn't expire. Oh, there you go, 24. Yeah Ah man.

on the line on a chat to try to get my money back, which I did get like, but it's so instant. Is this worth $150 my time right now? Of course not. But the point is, you know, now I have to like, I have 12, they gave me my credit back to get so audible. Thank you very much. But the reality is that I got to get rid of 12 credits in the next three months because I'm on pause because I don't want to have to pay for this anymore because I got free, well not free, but it's part of my premium for Spotify. I'm gonna have to buy books I don't really need. Right? can you gift audio books?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or gift it or gift them to people who listen to them. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. You can. Yeah, you can gift them, man. So so like, because I'm I use the the Spotify premium as well, but you 10 hours a month that you listen to on car often go through books. So I finished up a book halfway through my damn that's really annoying. And so Bettina

Oh, okay. All right. Well, all right.

is slower at getting through the books. I am so so caught off and she'll gift a one for me. So yes, you can gift them to other people. So if you want to, uh, audible. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so that's, that's, that's a go, but you're, you're, you're right. There's so many times that you, but you also got, you know, you made a, a good considered decision to go through and do an analysis of, of stuff that happens sometimes though, like I recently had a bank in Australia.

Ah, on audible. I didn't realize that. Okay. All right.

who said, Hey, listen, we've realized we've overcharged you for GST. There was two components of one component. One was like, you know, a few hundred bucks. And I went, okay, it's worthwhile following up. I thought it was like about $4 something. And when I realized what it took to get the couple of hundred bucks back, went, you know what? No, I'm not bothering going for four bucks. I can't get that time back. No way. And so that was a strategic discerning decision. And I kept getting reminders. Hey, listen, Here's your four bucks. You've got bucks. I've got, dude, I don't want to donate it to someone. I'm not going to spend an hour and a half trying to work through this. This is ridiculous.

Yeah. I actually think of the same thing. I think it was Commonwealth Bank. One of those banks sent me an email like last year and said, hey, you you have some interest that we overcharged you and we want to, we sent you a check. And it was for like, I don't know, like $5 or something. And we noticed you haven't cashed it. yeah, I don't want live in Australia and I'm not going out of my way to go cash this $5 check or whatever the stupid thing is. And I'm not calling just to go find out how to figure out how to get this $5. It's just not worth my time.

Yeah Yep. Yep.

You know, actually my dad sent me, and I don't know, my dad sent me this, cause he's in Australia at the moment, and he sent me this, you know, email and said, hey, you you were, cause my parents gave me like power of attorney, you know, when they left Australia. So my, obviously my mom has passed on and then he couldn't close the bank account. The only person who can close the bank account is me. And there's a hundred dollars left on that account. And, you know, he says, okay, here's the number you need to call him. Like dad, like honestly, like with.

Yeah, yeah. I know.

I know for me to call like to find out the timing of Australia, like, you know, there's only a couple hours like difference. And for me to make that phone call in their office, calling Australia is not bad thing, but it's specifically within nine and five Australian time, that's usually only, you know, that's usually sleep time. It's like, is it worth it for a hundred dollars? Like, does it matter if I just left it for years and government takes it, you know, in the some time in the future? Like it's just, it's one of those things that you need to outweigh. And I think these, this is a good discussion because we need to look at

Yeah, specific, Yep. Yep.

the future in the years ahead is like, are we getting bogged down on little things? Are we getting bogged down on small things, insignificant things, or are willing to just to let it go? And these are the things we're talking about. It's not just about getting rid of things, but it's like, can you let go of small things or are you chasing after things? And I do spend like, there's so many little inconvenience things that happen, especially when you live in a foreign country and don't speak the language. And there's plenty of it, of examples, but sometimes I'm like, is it worth my hassle? Like, you know. I know it's a couple hundred dollars, but is it worth my hassle to go and deal with this right now? And sometimes it's like too hard basket and there's other things to worry about. So energetically, sometimes it's a good feeling to just let those little things go. Sometimes it's worth fighting for. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do any of this stuff, but I think sometimes you gotta fight the battles for the battles that actually are worth it sometimes.

Yeah, in the relative importance and the scheme of things and in terms of if it's a value additive process. if you, if you look at this and go, this is a really important thing. There's value in pursuing this or I'd need to put energy and time into this and it's worthwhile to use. It's a good judicious use of your time. But if it's not really, if it's not really going to change things radically. Like as you said, a hundred bucks for you and account. had to do, I remember exactly the same thing with my dad when I had an account that had to close and they kept on giving me statements. And in the end, I just, I just went, forget it. I just ghosted them. just said, I can't, can't, I've written to you email once the guys, but I I'm not going to fly to Australia to show an account that's got four bucks in it. Forget it. You know, you need to physically be here. That's not practical. So yeah, you just make a decision to go, I'm not going to edit.

Yes. Yeah.

Um, put energy and time at this. can just let that go, but that's really important. And it speaks to what we were talking about earlier on is a lot of the times we're consumed by things that aren't really significant and important. You know, we're basically there. They're overwhelming because it's on a to-do list. But fundamentally, I remember Warren Buffett quite often would say, you know, make it a list of the top 10 things you need to do. And then basically. Work out from those two what are the top two and then get rid of the other eight or something like that so I need to just focus on the most important things to you and and work out what a dollar cost or a Time cost effect that is and if you're prepared to pay that price Whatever that is in terms of time or energy or whatever then you pay it if you don't you just let it go And it's so much easier

Yeah, sometimes it's, it is hard to, I think for some, it is hard for different circumstances because sometimes it's principle, right? Sometimes you're fighting for a principle and you know, it might only be 50 cents or, know, and the perfect example is like being in Bali, right? I mean, like, you know, I remember one time, actually, so I was meeting our friend, our common friend, Carmen, and, and I took like a motorbike to go, go, go meet her for, for dinner or after dinner to catch up with her. was on the other side. So we met halfway and, and I,

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

I, the guy on the road was like, okay. How much to get to, you know, bear a while. And he's, he's like, Oh, I don't know. I can't remember what it was like 15, 10 or 15, you know, dollars, basically Australian dollars. And I thought to myself, I'm like, that's pretty steep. Like that, that seems really steep. But I was like, do I stand here and not try to find another motorbike or do I just go along with it and then just go with it? And then as I got there, I'm like, I know I'm being totally ripped off.

Yeah. Yep. Yeah, yeah.

Right? I should have been only like seven or eight and 10 or maybe max 10 max, but I know I'm getting ripped off here. And I, and I really had to sit there and go out of principle. Do I debate this or do I just energetically let this go? And we're all faced with that circumstances all the time. And what I'm saying is like, sometimes it's like, it's worth fighting for. And sometimes it's worse just like letting go. Cause now I'm going to be delayed in meeting, you know, Carmen and spending. some quality time, you know, having better discussions rather than me trying to save $5 here and there. And, but it's hard, it's hard, I think for, for people to let go. And that's, this is why it's so difficult. But I think we do need to evaluate sometimes to going, is it worth fighting for? And it's not that the, it's not that the money, it's actually the, the energy you attach to it. And I think we get caught up in these little things and I get, I'm not guilty, I'm not guilty in this, right? I'm very guilty in certain circumstances, like,

It's hard to get.

you know, you just feel like I got ripped off. so therefore like you, but you put so much energy for $5 or $2 or whatever it is, but you realize I'm like, was it worth it really in the big schema thing? Like, can you not have just let go and just moved on and recognizing that $5 would probably come back somewhere, you know, to you.

Yeah, totally, totally. And, you know what? think that speaks to the fact that we just, you know, none of us like to be disrespected or, or, or, um, or lied to or exploited. And when we feel like we are, that's right. We get, it's not about it. I totally get the principle, man. I am guilty of that as charged as well too, but sometimes I've got to, I've got to, you know, play the bigger hand and say, okay, what's this really about? Is this really about the the time is it really about how this guy makes you feel about you? What's it about? And sometimes I'll do the same thing. I'll go, nah, I'm going to fight this cause. I'm going to, I'm going to go in there and bat and do this. Other times I just go, whatever dude, I'll let you have this victory. I don't care. I'm going to move on. Um, but I remember going to, it might've been Vietnam, I think with, with our family. And I knew these, this guy, went to this market. I knew this guy was ripping us off and worked out this system that whenever you, um, whenever the stall holders knew that there was an easy sale, they gave you a particular color code, right? So they all knew this guy's a dummy, right? But this one guy, and I can't remember what it was, I love the art of negotiation. Love it. I don't even, I just like, I love nothing more than negotiating in that regard. So I'd go to the supermarket, and I know this guy's trying to rip it off, and I would...

Yeah. Bag. Yeah. Yeah.

I would actually negotiate things down to a quarter of what they're saying. And in the end, I'd tip them the same amount anyway. So they're to get the same amount of money. But to me, that was the moral victory. was like, listen, my BSA here, you know, like I can, I can see you coming and I'm the one who's at the effect. I'm choosing to give you that extra amount of money. But that was my ego at play. totally own that. But, um, That's how I did it. was like, loved the challenge. loved the game. I got entertainment for 10 minutes. Here you go. I'm tipping you exactly what you would have tried to rip me off. Um, but I'm in control and that, that was an ego play. totally own it, but that's how I reconciled it in my mind. So.

Yeah, I think this is why like we're spending a lot of time on this because I think it's important because this is where most people get burnt out, right? People get burnt out because they don't realize how attached they are to these little inconsequential things that they feel like they have to do or they are constantly doing and not realizing and evaluating whether or not they should be still doing it. And I'm sure I have a list of them, but it's this actually just talking about this is a really good reflection for me to actually do this for this year is to make sure I'm like, okay, what are some of the things that are no longer serving me? And because we all only think about all the things that are really good, you know, like for me is like, oh, playing battle or going across for like all the things that, of course, those are the easy ones, but like, what are all the things I'm actually doing that is, is not really serving me, you know, maybe it's like watching, I don't know, YouTube videos on things that I really don't matter. Like, you know, like I know I I was actually really intrigued with like the American politics during the election time. And I'm still watching some of these. I'm like, why am I watching this anymore? Like, I'm not even American. Like, it's just like, it's just like these things I'm getting caught up on.

Yeah, same. Yeah. But that was the hottest, that was the hottest topic in the world a few weeks ago, Lawrence. mean, that was, that was all consuming. There were people who previously had no interest in it. We're really taking an interest. And I definitely was, I was really interested about how it was. And, but yeah, over time I've been able to scale that back. I'll go, okay, it's not as urgent anymore right now. I don't need to, I need to be on top of every, every.

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

rise and fall anymore, but it served its purpose at that time.

But I'm having this lingering effect, you see, that's what I mean. It's right, like, because it's, because I consumed so much of it, because I was so interested in what was gonna happen, and just like the, I mean, I was interested because of the talking points and like how one side viewed one and the other side viewed the opposite, complete opposite things, even for the same topic. I was just fascinated by how people can be so opposite to something that is for us to see this, this common. Anyways, the point is that I'm still consuming some of it.

I am you go

I'm still getting caught up in it. was like, wow, like this is strange. Like I, this has no relevance to my life anymore. Like why is it still consuming? but it's the creep because it's the habit. It's a habit of like for months leading up to it, I've been thinking about this, we're watching it and the feed is obviously giving me that feedback. So therefore it's like so easy to kind of continue to consume this information. And I mean, there's another thing too, like, mean, then my Niners are, you know, obviously as my football team, you know, they're doing terrible this year.

All right. Yeah.

Like they're so bad this year and you're thinking, I don't know how, because they were so close to winning, but yet somehow they're doing so terribly. So now I made a conscious effort. Like, well, do I need to like really pay so much attention? Because the season's like, what are chances of ever making it? like 5 % or 10%. So is it worth like stressing over, you know, the game and...

Yeah. Hell. I'm gonna call BS Lawrence and say you of course you're gonna do it because of course you're gonna watch it and you're right, you know, you're right and Fall on the like we do that. I quite often go. Oh, no, we're not gonna go good this year I won't put as much effort and the end you go. No, it's actually really bored to me, right? You might not make a trip to the US But I still put that you'll be following it closely. It's just

We'll see. We'll see how the next few weeks goes. Yeah, definitely won't be making a trip to the US.

It's an important part for what we've talked about previously. But that's the kind of thing, right? that becomes, I've noticed in the AFL, which I follow quite a bit, they've had the trades, they had the trade process going, they've got the draft and everybody's talking up, everybody's training the house down and it just builds excitement and you just realize you're getting sucked in. to that as well. And so I'm like, okay, if I'm going to go down this road, what do I need to let go of to create space for that? Because I suddenly don't have 27 hours a day, because this is really important. What do you need to let go of? And, you know, sometimes you got to do a detox where you look at your life and go, okay, I'm in the circle, I got to take everything out of the circle. And I knew I'm to bring back stuff that's actually really important to me. And I put to you that there is a place in that circle for you for I really do.

Yeah. Yeah, Well, okay, so here let's maybe I know if we're diverting topics here and this is like not scripted of it so So so here's my question to you. What are your guilty pleasures? Jim like what are your guilty pleasure that what do you like consume that? You know or not even consume I guess it doesn't have to be media. But like what are your guilty pleasures?

Now we're not, it's totally irrelevant. Um, look for me, it's definitely like, I love reading, right. And, and it is escapism. So I could actually easily go, um, this is fascinating or like YouTube, like you just said, I could very easily pick a topic and go and follow that and go there goes the day because I'm following my own curiosity. could so easily do that. Right. Um, and you know, when I'm not in a learning mode and in entertainment mode, it's just movies.

Interesting. Yeah.

love movies, you know, and I love a particular type of genre, action movie kind of thing. So, but I discipline it, discipline myself to go and I've had to build that. So Saturday for me is that day, you know, like even though right now I'm doing 75 hard and I'm day 39. Saturday has always been traditionally the day where I give myself a little bit of flexibility in terms of, hey, you can eat.

Huh. Okay.

the desserts or something, if you're have one, you have it on Saturday. If you're going to watch a movie, you can watch it on that day. So that's the kind of systems I've had to build around myself because so easily that one day can become seven and I do nothing.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so what I really like about that is that you are, you have your guilty pleasures, but you actually structure your guilty pleasures in a way, whether it be food or whether it be, you know, activities like, you know, watching a movie or whatever. And you built it in there because you know how you can get lost. I love that. I love that you actually structured. that's the thing, like it's having these guilty pleasures, not like I hate to call it guilty pleasure, but the thing is, is that you don't actually have to stop them. it's, cause I feel like some people is like, Oh, I gotta stop doing this or stop indulging in. whatever it is, that's not the point. It's just recognizing that you have full control. I think that's the most important thing is being in control is when something is out of control. That's when it's when it becomes a problem, right? So if you do enjoy say sweets, it's like, you know, but direction recognize like, okay, I'm addicted to whatever. And then it's like allowing yourself to have those in controlled environments to know that to tell your brain into your body. So like, I'm still in control of this. I'll allow you to have it, but I'm still in control of this, right? It's like taking cold showers like

Yeah.

coach out, all hate it. But it's like, I'm in control of this. Like I'm, I control that we're going to be in pain for the next 30 seconds or whatever it is. But it's like just telling your brain that I'm, I'm forcing you to be in pain, but I'm in control of the whole thing too, as well. And I think those are, those are important things to recognize. Like, you know, if you have goodly pleasure of, know, watching, you know, soap operas and stuff like that, and okay, like do it, but also recognize that, you know, watching all day for seven hours or a whole entire season in one binge is probably not the most

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 100%. Yeah, totally.

ideal thing if you do it constantly if you do it one time fine but if you do it all on a regular basis then you know yeah we all know you love the bake off competitions or whatever on Netflix

No, it's not it's more the eat-off that would be more the interest of me to allowance because we both know I'm not a fine dining type of person I've got a lot of standards that you do in terms of food. So I totally I totally own that but I'm but for me I think you're right It's the stoic in me that leave they control six of the seven days and that way I can

Yeah, yeah. Hmm.

You know, and I don't go off the rails nuts on that seventh day. It's just that, you know, there's certain foods, there's certain things, there's certain activities that are great, but there are sometimes things there are, are a special and I've, and I've carried that over to my adulthood because that way that's what allows me to be productive and, and stay focused on it because I I've got to act greater than how I feel. And, uh, if I don't feel like doing something, it's the discipline of knowing, okay, you can have this on Saturday.

Hmm.

And so consequently Saturday being around me on a Saturday is totally different. You know, gym six days a week is just driven and focused and doing stuff. That is seven is like, mate, this is like my birthday once a week, you know, so it's just fantastic.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. So, um, you mentioned that you obviously follow the AFL. You, you, mentioned that you do a few of the things there. Um, what are, like, do you, what kind of, well, your mic's kind of scratchy there for a second.

Cough Oh, can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Is that better?

I can't, but it's just gonna... No, something that went really scratchy. But anyways, sort of slightly. Yeah, it's gotten better. It's gotten better, yeah. I guess I was thinking like you mentioned about your AFL and stuff. Do you watch, like do you actually go and watch those games or?

Is that better? Is that better now? Yeah, okay, sorry. Yeah, now, now I obviously it's a lot harder and I get international, I've got an international membership that I listened to from overseas. So, but yeah, I used to go live. I'd go, I love the whole, um, like you, I mean, you flew to the other side of the world. So you'd get what I'm talking about. I love the, spectacle and the drama and the, um, the surroundings, you know, like watching a game of sport is great.

Yep. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah.

But if I'm watching it, even if I'm by myself and there's 80, 90,000 people around me, it's just electric. It's hard to explain for people who don't really love that. It's like going to a concert, you know, it's just a totally different experience. You hear the same song, but it's just, I don't know, it comes alive.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's good. Well guys, I hope that you guys really enjoy this podcast. We got to dig into Jim's guilty pleasures. I think this is awesome to be able to kind of know that, but I love that you, you you, you really kind of have some discipline around that. But I will say if you're in day 39 of 75 hard, you really didn't time this right. You know, when it comes to Christmas time.

Yeah, no, it's deliberate. But let me tell you, Lawrence, I've got birthdays, Christmas, New Year, my kids coming. And it had to be, it was one of those scenarios where I was noticing a little bit of slippage. A friend of ours, Rory, he sent me a message, I was talking to him earlier today and he said, dude, what are you doing? It's like, you're going into Christmas, that's just hardcore. And I'll go, it just worked out that way. I committed to it. And then later on I'll go, hang on a second, Christmas, New Year.

Yeah.

I, you know, it's either, it's either you're in or you're out and I have to make a decision to be in. I'm done it. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. So I'm just counting Christmas and they're not on on on a Saturday. They're not. So it's just, that's what I've done.

Yeah, it's like 75 harder harder. Yeah. No, it's not. Well, that's awesome. That's great. It's great to see the commitment. We're looking forward to hearing that journey and how it ends, uh, making sure it ends appropriately. Don't have to study. You don't want to be doing that restart on that. So, all right, guys, I hope you enjoyed this podcast, but I love, I hope this actually helps you kind of rethink about, know, your planning for next year and also how to plan a better year next year, rather than having any burnt out, uh, burn, burn outs in the middle. We're trying to obviously encourage you to kind of figure out I know those imperfections are always not gonna be perfect things are gonna happen next year but it's like how do we can how can we strategically remove things in our life so that we can actually put newer things in our life and adapt those newer habits to become a better version of ourselves and new in the new future. This is Wabi Sabi the art of perfection. We'll see you on the next episode. Take care.