Life By Design

all righ well welcome back to the wabbysubb podcast and today it's topic is awesome gym i love the suggestion you made on this particular topic because i think let's let's name the topic and then we'll kind of talk about it it's life by design and you know you brought up to this topic and i think reality the first thing i hit me i was like of course like every an everybody actually not tally acalyi'll take that back i take that back was going to say everybody is always designing a life by design but i just realized i spoke to you soon

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

because there are a lot of people who are consciously creating a life by design and there are a whole bunch of people that are just living life with no design unconsciously so yeah i don't know maybe we'll start there like what do you think about that comment

yeah yeah said yeah i'm glad you corrected yourself because i would have actually go hang on let's let's let's retake this because i think that there are people who create a life by design and whatever that looks for them and we'll definitely talk about that but there's a whole subset of people who for one reason or other don't they don't set an intention for their life that the effect of it so life kind of dictate to them what their lives going to be and let's let's for a moment acknowledge that there are people who are born into in cr bl challengers who we can't even imagine our worst day is probably their best day ever so let's acknowledge that first from the start but then we're looking at the subset of people will probably listen to this podcast who are trying to be pro active and make a change in their life and world here kind of people were talking about people who have the capacity to create a life of design but what stops them

yeah m yeah absolutely so actually let's go let's think about this for a second do you think that there are people who actually consciously create life by design all the time like i'll be the first one a it i you know i create my life by design in a way but i don't consciously think about it all the time you know i mean like it's not like it's a hun percent focus every day i'm like trying to design like i just don't have that discipline i guess in myself to really do that sort of like okay this is kind of what i want a kind of move towards it in some

yeah

you know not magically it happens like i mean obviously i do the work and things do happen but um do you find like i don't know how you function im like i mean we've never talked about this before so i'd love to hear your insights and and love to hear and learn from you

yeah okay so short answer is i think there are people like that who create life by design and i actually am in that category i'll tel you what i mean by that is i've done a lot of work on visualizing exactly what direction i want to go now i don't have the infinite details but i've got a general direction and it really hit me i'll tell you i'll el you what how it really hit me and how powerful that was like when i turned fifty a few years ago don't surprise birthday party

m interesting yes

and i'm not i'm like like i don't like drawing attention myself funny as it may sound but i don't i don't like drawing attention myself and things like parties and stuff they're not that's not me when i said parties i love them but i just i don't i didn't want to a birthday party but bettina decided that i was going to i had a surprise party and a lot of my closest friends flew in from all over the country in australia to surprise me which is amazing i thought we were just going to have dinner

m yeah

close family but that's what happened and when i was actually there i got really emotional because all my closest friends had had come in and flown in there but then it hit me that i went up and said guys can you just hold on for a second i looked up to my office came back and i read my ideal life and so for the last five years you know i designed it five years earlier and every day i read that and every day subconsciously just read it and created a vision of where i wanted to go and on my birthday i said on my fifty second birthday but it was actually on my fiftieth pretty much everything everyone was exactly the way that i've outlined and down to the vacation the connections with family the freedom the business the fine all that kind of stuff to within not anally hundred percent on point but ninety five per cent there and to me that really read

i love it

firmed the power of intention so i don't i don't get to the point where i'm so rigid that i don't enjoy the fun part of it but for me a life by design is about going hey stake a claim stake a claim and go this is where i want to go and that becomes the reference points on which all decisions and actions emanate from

yeah yeah hm hm all right let me ask you this then so that's inspiring that's awesome and so tell me you read this every day so like what's the process do you read this every day okay and you've ben doing this for how long

yeah yeah yeah this one five years the most recent on the way up to fifty prior to us leaving australia it was the same one for the five years and so right now is very interesting because the there are elements that i don't know how that looks so consequently work in motion progress i should say so what i've done is adapt

okay okay yes yes

that until i have a little bit more clarity of exactly how that looks so all the plans everything that you and i are spoken about they're in my my vision but i don't know exactly how that's going to form just yet

all right yeah m okay i'll ask you outside what the podcastsgonna look like now to art so um okay what's the mind set that you have to get to in order to you to do this like to create and also to because this is an important question right because i mean saying that we're going to write things down create something um and then read it every day like okay we can get to those steps later but that's pretty simple i find but think what's hard

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

is the mind set behind that to turn that into a reality like what made you switch in your head like that's what i'm going to do

yeah okay so i'm gonna give you a ittle bit of a clue some of the seminars that we run we run people through this process and spoiler a gonta let you know one of the steps that we go through so fundamentally we actually we have to get people to a point of thinking of unlimited possibilities and by limited possibility it's not like heylisteni'm not going to be a joke right so that's that's you know we look at him go let's let's leet don't like the word realistic too much that's just me i get tricky word for me because it always be realistic is like man i've got dreams i want to follow the that's just me right but fundamentally what we would say to people okay i want you to imagine when you about design of life you're walking along a beach and suddenly you see it glistening in the sand you walk over there and it's basically container you know receptacle you pick it up it's a lamp you shine it up and look and suddenly a journey comes janey comes out and says thank you for liberating me out of my and basically entrap for seven years i'm going to give you a wish whatever you want you know just let me know i'll make that happen and at that point that's the first i'm really glad you ask this question because at that point when people are given freedom to express anything they want what comes up for them is what what can i do what is not possible do i deserve this is all those kind of things so the first step for me is overcoming that noise in your head that

yeah

you don't deserve this you're not good enough to have this who are all those kind of questions that you have to traverse through to even expand the possibility that that's impossible

it's so interesting it's absolutely true i have a very similar process and it's interesting okay let's tlkaoutheinteresting part interesting and curious around how human beings we naturally go to what can't be done or what we don't want and and rather than actually given even though you given the freedom to go dream you dream about the things i don't want to have and sometimes actually that's that's helpful because sometimes like because when you say here's a blank canvas draw whatever you want it's really hard

yeah yeah kay yeah yeah

it's really hard right and so sometimes you have to go okay well i'm not going to draw x y and z to kind of narrow down to limitation so in some context going down the negative side is actually helpful because it helps you kind of get closer but you can't get caught up in the negative so one of the things that i do when i came to decisions i don't not sure if i talked about it in this podcast but i'll go through quickly and tell me if you know i said this before but like for example let's my my decision to come to portugal um you know when i decided to think about what i should

yeah yeah yeah

not one of the first things i do is to think about what do i want because most of the time is that most people in my case would be going but karen my wife what would the kids think what when my mother in law who lives with us what would she think that's a immediate thing and to me i'm like no no i can't as crazy as it sounds i can't factor in my kids what they want or my wife wants in that decision because if i think about them which you automatically do you limit what's possible right and so therefore i just went straight to like what do me lawrence do i want to go there do i want is this what life that i want to pursue without any bias from my family and then then i start dreaming from that dream whatever i think i'm like okay that could be happy i can do this and then i add the factors right then i add the constraints um because you know not to say the wife will not approve or pro

yeah yeah yeah m yep yep yep

but she is a constraint because of my dream because that's my dream and i need to now factor them in and then i slowly kind of add the layers of the constraints based on my circle of influence in the circle of people that matter to me so sort of similar process s it's a way so this is how i always tell people like you got to be selfish here and dream for yourself and not let you know as crazy as sounds you got to let go your family for a second i mean it's only dreamland so it's like you know you can add them in later but right now you just gotta fol

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

and what do you want does this does it speak to you does it pull you does it into create that reality for you so that's sort of what i do

yeah so for me it was really if i was going to use a word in there it's giving yourself the permission to either dream or to even entertain that thought is a really critical first step because most people are going to be conditioned to think like you said the negatives ever come across edward de bono six hats principle right right so fundamentally edward de oo talks about whenever you trying to make design things you know

hm yes i know i know the thar but i haven't come across it

by nature i'm a very visionary person i love the concepts and ideas and what happens is if i'm in dreamland hen by possibility land if someone comes in and asks me to to too many details it takes me out of that space so fundamentally what edward de bone says is that whenever you are thinking about an idea you've got to let it run before you think about the practicalities what can go wrong what er and so he uses an example it's a fascinating thing you put a particular hat and that heart allows you to dream and then you put another colour hat on and that allows you to think about okay what are the dangers you put nother hat on what could go right now those kind of things but really important i think as a critical step if you're dreaming if you're p if you're thinking about possibilities you're gonta do what we just basically say give us a permission open up not think about what can't work but just let it run to see where it ill take you

yeah yep yep yep yeah so i think it's important we describe this i like that a lot and the reason why i like that a lot it's because you and i m i think we're dreamers by nature and so it's easy or easier for people like us so there's people who're watching this and listening to this would be saying yeah that's me i can do that easily and and you can start dreaming you know without no consequence of anybody else no constraint but there's also a subset of the population that were watching this and we go in like i can't do that the first thing i think about is all the logistically how am i gonna create that how i'm going to do that if i go

yeah yeah yes

i want to move to canada i think i tink what visa do i need and they start like that's my wife cares very much like that you straight to logistics liststraight to like how it is possible and it's amazing how fast they go there and so the reason why i'm mentioning that's because i'm sure there's someone who's listening there's watching this would be tying like that's me and so you got to be and this is why what jim laid out you know with the hats i think that's a really good process to go like just give yourself permission to dream that's the first critical stuf

yeah yeah yeah yeah

like giving yourself a permission to even think about that like what are you goin to lose nothing like but what are you goin to gain everything the possibilities are there you can deal with logistics later and i know naturally those people will put logistics first we're just asking like if you want to kind of have life by design then you have to learn to create something that is magical that pulls you enough but if you don't allow yourself to go there and think about the logistics or going to do that you never get there because you're always your chimp brain

yeah yeah yeah yeah

always tells you the constraints of achieving that

yeah and you never actually enter into the realm of what's possible when you're concentrating on don't get me wrong like some of the biggest challenges i've had in the team with people who are data driven who are like sticklers for detail and yet they're the same i need those people i need those people and that's the greatest gift that i have because they're my blind spots so what allows me to to to leap into the future is knowing that the left and right for an are covered that give me comfort

hm yep

it's to progress but i have to stay in dreamland initially if i'm going to expand my capacity because otherwise i'm only going to stain the note i gonaxtain what i already know and from that year i can divide systems but i want to expand that vision and that can only happen if you're allowed to run its course

yep yeah so like i talk about like n't remember where i heard this from a like sky and sand so like we are people who are sky people we kind of think up in the clouds yeah and the trouble with people who live in the clouds is that we don't do sand very well don't sometimes we don't we dream so much we don't actually take the necessary action or to completion where as i describe my wife for example she's more of a sand person like she's really good at you know getting traction but she doesn't allow her to go

yeah i live in the trees the clouds man that's it yeah yeah

that's why we work so well together it it's like you know i dream she completes and you know that's how kind of create the life and so i think the important is that we have to be really good at being you can state obviously were dominant in one of the other right usually typically and so know you do know your dominance and so you know that that's where you can live but also to like you have to do the other part like know sky people we have to do this and we have to surround ourselves with people would say so that that action can be taken so you know describe this and types of people

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

earlier like you know yes it's harder for you to dream possibly but just know that once you create it though man you're gonna you're going to make that life happen very very quickly you know we are dream land were like ve are land all the time but making it happen takes a lot longer for us

yeah yeah i'm there in a second man i'm in there in a second it's like i'm there but you're right i think you underpend a really important caonsideration for people is just that just like the micro details are a challenge for me there are times when i have to focus on this i have to i have to address this because this is really important and by the same token if you're dart a driven details person we get it let's celebrate that and then just go okay just

yeah

magine just imagine what would happen could it look don't worry about the practical it's just when i'm coaching some lead them through that process you know because i realize that's a stretch its consequently in some case okay let's drop down the bat i know you want to know the details let's just surrender that for a moment to allow them to even visualize what is possible i think that's a really important thing

yep yeah absolutely and so like the challenge so it's really great to thank you for sharing like your process and what do you do and it's kind of crazy you know i used to do exactly the same thing and i said used to and when i first graduated twenty years ago i did that every day you know wrote a plan and i read i read it every day you know and it all came true and i don't know why i don't stop doing it so now it's like making me think like man come on let's just get back to work and started doing it on a regular basis because it's such an important element

m m yeah yeah yeah

i kind of do it like in my head but i don't like i think the reading it every day is the healthy reminder to go and say this is your imprinting i think that process is really important because it imprints a reminder into your brain to almost make it enormalizes your reality to that what you're actually striving for and that will become the life that you're actually going to live and i think that there's some power in that right and

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

because when you are you know we talked about this in the previous episode where you're surrounding yourself with your closest friends right your closest friend are going to dictate a normality and a certain environment and you tend to predicate to that environment and the level expectation of what your friends expect of you and so similar kind of concept instead of friends and i was the environment of your brain and if you don't elevate that element and normalized it to a newer higher level of being in the life that you actually want and making that normal because remember like most of the dreams that we have is going

yeah

be different than than than the life that we currently have if we don't normalize the new lize to be like that could be a possibility then it's going to be harder and harder for us to kind of achieve because her just be a dream and our goal here is to change dreams into reality if we are able to do that we have to normalize your your whole mind set and your whole being to that new reality and one way to do as to constant remind it

yeah yeah yep yeah totally you know sometimes it works you know you can record it if you process information more effectively through auditory challenge you can record it you can write about and record and you can listen to it so the times ve listened to it sometimes i read it fundamentally it's a reminder it's a red it's my true north and saying that's what i'm going that's what i'm going and where i find that really helpful it's not of days where i'm kicking the lights out of everything and feeling great it's the days where i'm challenged i'm going is this even possible what am i doing this is tough you know all that kind of stuff to me to reminded that this is why you're doing what you're doing because you're you're inching closer and closer to not just an abstract concept not where the title take you not where circumstances take you but man that's what i'm doing and i need to stay true to that

and i think the trick here is also as a reminder as you were speaking is that remind of the thought process of making sure so like you reading it every day creates the north star and also creates your why but it's really important i believe not to compare your day to day to that north star okay because i think that's a danger because otherwise you're going to live in a life of depression because you're always compared to something you haven't achieved so youre always creating this gap between you where you are

yeah yeah yeah

to where your north star is what you got to do is like have the north star have your wi so you know what direction you're going but like in anything in life is not about how how close am i to that goal is actually looking back and how far have actually come you know that's that's that's that's a really important distinction i think for people in terms of mind set as we moved along

yeah yeah totally yeah great point you just made because if i'm honest with myself none of my ideal life for my vision express myself today except for the fact that i read my like all the things about training what today wasn't the day i felt really tired during today so today wasn't the day where my vibration and energy were up and i was keeping the light set of things and yet but i still read the vision and at least got an idea when okay tomorrow a new day let's go again but i don't what i like about is that avoid slippage and by sleippage it's you know you basically adapt to the environment and to inertia and you just eventually just don't do things to me even today may not have been the day that was said on point i still know where i'm going and i think that's the value in that

yes yeh yeah i mean we all have slippage every day i think and you know it's it's we got to build a system around um that process to insure that you're on the right path and i think every day it's a good reset it doesn't have to don't make a complicated i think that the key element here is make it simple make at doable and it's just a constant reminder like for me like i been doing this like you know three minute journal every day and that's been like yeah like oh yeah okay that's right what puts me

yes yes yeah yeah yep

back into um you know what i'm trying to achieve or you know moving towards something and because in the slip age once you slip you go down that path really really quickly and sometimes we see that in our in terms of physicality we see that in our exercise we can see that in our diets and and mind set is exactly the same thing it's very hard and once you go down the far too far away from where you need to be it doesn't mean you can't come back but it's a lot harder road to come back

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

and so i think it's really important to have have some sort of system and whatever works for anybody to actually built a system to kind of create that traction

yeah yeah tally so coming back to what you said about that i think the way that we always explained that is the why wasn't how of the vision and so for us traditionally i know basically the whole start with why concept was really really important you start with your purpose and initially when i i really started with a lot of the growth work it was always about my fundamental purpose why am i doing what i'm doing what i'm doing what i'm doing sorry look

hm

he's just told me she doesn't i do you hear that

i saw i was i saw that and on the watch i like it's going to start talking

yeah you basicalseris just saying i don't understand well you're not alone sere because a lot of people don't understand but fundamentally your purpose was the compelling reason why you do what you do but a lot of the times you didn't know why that was important so probably about eight or ten years ago shifted things around a little bit both myself and other people an started focusing on what as in what is it that you're working towards and that's getting really clear like we just said about what it looks like what your vision is what so that you're illuminating not eliminary but you clear of where your destination is and that's what we definitely talked about and then the next level was the why so why is this important to you and then fundamentally that's where the purpose came into it as to what was your compelling reason for for wanting that do you like to speak on it

yeah yeah m yeah i think you know one of the things that brought it to my mind is i want to ake sure that people you know understand that you know obviously you're wise can be such important but why alone is it really going to create the reality you want because you do need to have you know what are you trying to create what does that actually look like you know why is like to me is almost like your it's the north star the direction that pose you but what is more i find is more like what you're actually creating in the process of getting to that why

yeah

um and the why tend tends not to change that much really it might shift slightly but the why fundamentally you know kind of carries through in your lifetime in my experience i could be wrong but the what changes all the time you know and and that's where the identity sometimes get caught up and i think important you know we can talk about a different podcastswere bout identity which is a tough thing you know to kind of lose you know but the thing is the identity if you caught up is your identity in the what that could become a probe

yeah yeah yeah yeah

because you what changes but if your identity is caught up in your why then you know you what then constantly changes which is fine because your identity is who you are fundamentally whoever you know lawrence your gym like it's it's like were essence you know no matter what we do which still the same person what we do do changes but why we do it stall fundamentally stays relatively same and i think that's such an important element

yeah yeah look and it does and it does and i agree with you that the purpose quite often will be more recurring or more consistent sometimes it can change to sometimes your purpose will be to understand your purpose and so sometimes my purpose in australia might have been to get to a certain point where as now in the other country there's a different purpose so you know i allow a little bit of scope to to explore and to understand more of myself and i think as i've reconstructed elements of my life and world by design i've actually identified a different purpose so it's really interesting that if you stay open to it you can go this is really clear on this but then you change something and then soly everything else can change as well

m i think it's i think we talked about this in the previous podcast so you know go back to that but we talked about like sometimes your purpose you don't know what your purpose really is is perpendicular to you know your view point so to your to to to your your view point be able to see it so therefore it's more like pursuing that purpose and purpose constantly change i do think the purpose changes over time why you do something doesn't change but the purpose itself like you know that changes because you're evolving you're changing and ou know you're finding closer and closer to you know who you are

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

um there's one thing that i think about it's important for people to understand and i fall into this category that although i can dream i find it challenging to create vision like you know with full clarity and i really struggle with that i'm like so like you know i know ceruknowcertain people just like so good like precisely they know exactly what they want in so full clarity and i really struggle with that and i read a study and i thought maybe it'll be helpful is like i don't know how true it is but o take it for whatever is worth but it was like that only

hm

one percent of the population are actually true visionaries like people who can clearly see exactly what they you know what they're what they meant to do or like what they want for the future you know how that visionary statement and so kind of gave me a little bit piece that i fall in to ninety nine per cent that i don't have the full clarity so what that gave me permission to think about is like i don't have to have full clarity of like the dream in the vision is that i just have to like i do know and most people would agree was that the light

hm m yeah yeah no

you want the life moving forward is either going to be created unconsciously right by the factors unknown to you or unconsciously based on your previous you know experience so far to this point or you going you can consciously start to direct it in a direction that you actually wanted to and going back to your very first statement in the podcast is yeah we're all born in different circumstances we're all born in different you know in different experiences that may make it

yeah yeah

harder for certain people however i fundamentally believe and this is just my belief why do believe that each of us have the ability to direct it now whether or not that direct influence is strong or weak obviously dependent on the situation where you live what is happening to you and the time you're born and all the stuff but i do fundamentally believe that our actions and our behaviors can dictate it predicate to a life or at least in that direction we have that power or at least i choose to believe that there's that power because if i choose to believe that i don't have any directions then then i kind of question like well what is this life about them if i can't direct it and this is already pre written then like what am i doing here you know like why am even making decisions um you know it's like almost like sitting in a car with an auto pilot and you know someone's already chosen the destination like don't know i don't know i don't know if i want to live a life like that

m yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a difference between free will and pre determinism which is you know a lot of the times talk about that and so there are certain things that you may be pre determined and there's a particular path and road and things work but fundamentally to believe there's free will in things and you have the ability to choose and you have choice provided that there are opportunities there some people will take them some people don't this is what we're talking about is like okay if you have the capacity and the resources and the ability to make a decision that you can act on you fundamentally can create a life of design through three world you can actually direct the intention of where you want to go and this is what we're fundamentally talking but we're not talking about an oppressive society where people don't have these choices and don't have the ability because to me that would be incredibly challenging because i probably i like to think of myself within that category of people who always see the future and i do i'm always think if you know where i get despondent sometimes is i can go to to visionary point in then a second i can really visualize that i can see it i can do almost with incredible clarity but a lot the times if i if i don't know the process of how that's where great coaching has helped me along the way through my great coaches actually helped me realize that that's okay you know you can get to a point in there but fundamental the manifestation of how that will happen that's a definitely different skill set you can rely on other people you can stain your line and stay on this but don't lose the vision if that's what inspires you because there's a huge pool for me you know like when they talk about motivation where you're moving away from and moving towards i definitely move towards you know i've got to have a vision that inspires me that gets me up every day rather than running away from something that was terrible and

hm yeah

that that's a bit of a motivation as to what drives people towards what they want

yeah i would imagine like there's a lot of people i'd love to talk about this topic and we'll shift a little bit which is what stops people from creating a life by design like took a look at some of the challenges you kind of mentioned a few there earlier there so i'd love for you to kind of dive into it first like what do you think stops any of us to create like what stops like for me i think one of the first things would be just just living life like unconsciously like we are such every day we

yeah yeah yeah yeah

and this is one of the reasons why i left sydney was because i felt like i was living like a ground hog day you know like every day every week every month was pretty much the same and i saw the projection of where i was going i'm like man i'm going to live this life for the next five years like this and i didn't like it i didn't like that scared me so much um i moved twice because of that you know moved to obviously to portugal but before that i moved to sydney from birth and it was just that i thought that

yeah yeah yeah

that life of just constant repetitiveness really scared me i don't know what do you think that stops people from it's comfort

yeah i totally totally agree totally gree and your now what what i hear in that story is a really important value for you is growth there have to be growth right because if you're not growing you're dying you know you're sliding and basically but totally agrees in order to create a life of design you can't go the easy roch you sometimes have to go the path was trod and quite often no one you know like when you've got to get up and go across every morning it's a battle of mind over mattress you know

hm yep yep

comfort is going to say stay in bed laurence what are you doing it's called but you have to rise above that resistance that stops you from doing this so for me it's that it's that reluctance for people to overcome achievement over comfort

yes you know that's that's a fair point so yesterday i'm i'm gonna throw karen on the bus here but so she's probably not listening anyway so that's okay so like yesterday you know the alarm goes off five twenty and i you know christian the night before like that night couldn't sleep and so i had to go in his bed and try to put him a sleep and i don't think he felt sleep like eleven thirty which really late for him and i finally got back to my bed at one o'clock anyway so i woke up at five twenty and i'm like

yeah yeah

oh man like that fight mine over mattress yeah that was me yester that was pretty funny i've never heard that term before and i was there and i'm like okay i'm just i just need like ten seconds just to just like think that you know just like process this right and then karen for some reason she actually woke up to my alarm and she she rose over she was don't go just stay in bed

yeah yeah yeah

and and i literally did think about i'm like how does my body feel right now because i'm pretty sore this week and i'm like how does my body feel like my body says no you shouldn't go i felt like it was like thirty seconds but maybe it was only like a split second but i was there but then something came over me right and it was this statement which was which was for me in my mind basically said to myself it was like but that's not who you are right and you show up and you promised because you know

yeah yeah yeah yeah

our appsweewe show up like we we booked in a point and i can't go and cancel because you have a three hour policy cancellation so if i don't show up i took a spot from someone else who couldn't get in that day i'm like now yeah i gotta came at three a m exactly it's like you know i'm not getting yeah to cancel exactly and and so like this and then i just got up and just you know and i'm so glad i went and but the thing is right so i'm this is not about me and this is like this is the

yeah yeah yeah yeah you're goin to cancel a three a m if you're not going so i'm gonna wake up with three to cancel before yeah

element was i had to had the the being fundamentally who i was the mind set of this is know knowing who i want to be that was the driver that actually was the one who overcame the mattress right and so what what i am saying here is that fundamentally if you want to create that life that you want to have you need to fundamentally do what jim says read we already kind of talked about read it over

yep yep

and over and over again so reset the normal normal reality to be like that's the person you need to become right and so that eventually you will become that person and then therefore when you become that person that person once you once you become that person you take different actions right and because you take different actions then because of those actions you will have the things that you want right you don't become that person because you start doing

yes yes yeah yeah

you know you have to be that person first is the b d have right be the person then do the things you need to do because of that mindset or that you know fundamental reality and then you have the things you have so anyway so that was a great you know the story from hopefully that was a great start from us but that is exactly what i have to do is like now this is this is what i do i show up in the morning this s what i do

first yeah yeah yeah and you know what everybody if you're if you're an athlete who is sore you can't move it's done if you're if you're a student who is living a dream and wanting to start your own business you're gonna have to overcome that inertia you're gonna go i don't want to study i don't want to do this but you need to find a reason and you've got to act greater than how you feel basically because if you're asking anybody at any time you can sell your dream for a book or two bars you plenty of times when i've had crappy days in our

yeah

first i'd go you know if someone came offering me five dollars i'd just give it to him right now but that was in the moment and motion how i felt and that's the whole purpose of you've got to act greater than how you feel so if you're feeling doubt tired exhausted whatever it has to be something to elevate you over and above that current status otherwise you'll sell out your dream

and there's a term called escape velocity and escape velocity is the term used and usually in rockets right so when a rocket goes up into space the most amount of energy i believe i can't remember the exact percentage but let's say ninety percent or ninety yeah but ninety or ninety five perent of the energy right to to lift that rock into space is actually used in the first little bit within to get past gravity like it's about escaping the veloc

yeah i think it's about ninety yeah i think from something about nine yeah yeah

that's what i call the escape philos because you've got to put enough fuel nine magine ninety percent or energy is done in the first ten twenty seconds but once you get up to a certain point when you're away further away from the earth's gravity pull it becomes much easier and i think that that's exactly we've got to remind ourselves that no matter what you're doing starting a new business starting a new ritual learning a new language like there's so much

yeah yeah yeah oh yeah that's a real one can relate to that one lawrence yeah

i like right now i'm in that cave philosophy situation i'm like i'm just trusting the process because it's freaking frustrating is hell and it's like you know my my portuguese teacher said the other day because you got to stop reading the portuguese like english i'm like how do you do you not read it like english when all i've known is english it's like don't read the words don't pronounce it like english i'm like i can't anyway

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i went yesterday just so i went into a cafe a good friend of ours was in town and i went into a cafe and i figure i'm gonna flex my spanish here and i walked in and hit him with spanish and they give me the english men like come on man give me a chance i'm trying i'm really okay you could spot for enerbuti'mtrying you know so i can totally relate to your journey one

uh uh yeah it's pretty funny but anyway so the excited velocity as a real thing and i think this goes on for in this part of that life that was in which means that if you want to create the life design you do have to have enormous amount of energy spent on things at the beginning where you feel like you're not moving anywhere closer to your dream and that might be years okay and i think it's really important that we discussed that because you know most it's so easy now to go oh man i want to i want to life like jim lives in spain

yeah yeah yeah

you know he's got this figured out and you know he doesn't practice any more and he's got this business you do these podcasts but it's so easy to think of like yeah but that's jim like fifty years in the making you know what i mean like it's not one day you know it's it's not a one hit wonder like he took so many years to kind of get to that level and but when no one talks about the training session right mahoma great sort no one talks no one no one no one obsesses around the training that that person did and took

yeah yeah yeah

to get to that fighting form to win that fight at the end you know so it's like it's so important to get you know to think about escape velocity and the amount of work that you have to put in

yeah yeah yeah it totally that to me what allows me to work through that is it's not like because there's a big there's a big thing about joy and every moment is going to be fun and happy and this is the thing that we quite up and said people and life of design not everything is going to be sunshine in robo every second of the day even when you're living your ideal life and your and your life by design because there are still going to be challenges are gonna be frustrations but at the end of the day you go i would still choose this that's the difference and that's the you know because sometimes people go you know agen that's what i want but there's this and this and this is like yeah but that's a reality of it even if you if you pick what your dream career would be there are people who are doing that who are talking about the frustrations that they have in their day and i think that's when we romantacize the idea that there's never going to be challenged s never going to be difficult moments all is going to be fun and happy so romantically you know sort of addicted to that concept that's what that's what it's not realistic it's not the choice where it's not basically representative of what it's really like

yeah but isn't that interesting though like most people when they dream of life actually this is probably good when we talk about this because when you're creating a life of design you know most people we create a life without any pain any resistance any troubles or any consequences or it's almost like this perfect magical fairy tale but in reality sorry to say that but in re in reality you know our life is never a hundred percent that way like you know i live a pretty good life i'm pretty happy but there's always challenge

yeah yeah yeah

but that's i feel like those challenges as actually what makes me happy because if i had no resistance were no challenges like you said i was bored i don't think i was happy you know when they have no challenges and it reminds me of what like seth golden says is like no one runs a marathon like in visioning themselves crossing that finished line like yeah this is awesome right no one does that but that's what you dream of but the reality it's like you you've seen the finish

yeah yeah yeah this is great yeah

it's like yeah it's a happiness but usually after we cross the finish and then there's collapse right like it's a slug you know and i think that's why you know side track here which is like workout you know we talk a lot about exercise because we both of us we spend a lot of time you know putting ourselves our bodies into a physical stress or point like you you know you're in your in the digits you do and in the wads that i do the work out i listen i don't enjoy any of the wads that i

yeah yeah yeah yeah

like there's no joy in anything in any of those those exercises but the joy but i know the joy comes at the end right but the end is the joy of like completing the pure satisfaction that i freaking did it that i didn't think i could but i know i'm on the floor huffing and puffing sweating right but it's painful if it wasn't painful it was easy like i don't know if i would be proud of that and this is the same thing the same analogy

yeah yes yep yeah yeah yeah

life life is not supposed to be easy got up create challenges and i think sometimes it's important to create the life by design is that is not meant to be perfect but it's about having the right challenges so you grow into that person right and in order to go into that person in order to be that person you have to had to overcome several obstacles and i think building that into the plan is actually the way you want to design it

yeah yeah yeah totally and you know we talked about the previous episode of our podcasts about i guess our journeys and our migrant backgrounds and stated you know my dad worked sixteen our days to provide the opportunity for me to have an education and that was the pathway and for him that was his you know that was life blood design so he was choosing that the joy that he was able to to get from the perspective of going to come doing sixty our days but my kids are going to have a better opportunity doesn't have to be business that does have to be it's like sometimes you make a great commitment because you're hoping to give your kids an opportunity and that is all worth it and you talk to anybody who has supported their children through being supported in there they just know how much how important that was to them in that process and being able to work through all the challenges an you talk to anybody you at at a sporting level the sporting trips the commitments the camps that costs the driving into all there's a huge commitment and that needed to be done in order for the eventuation and the actualization of that dream so nothing like that comes you don't get parashooted into your ideal life basically or or your your intention like there's grunt work a lot of the time that we'll jump in especially with the whole the secret

yep yep

and the whole manifestation and to think about it and whatever critical part people didn't realize was there's work there you still gonta do work you want you want to know it you can attract it and there's also work that hasn't happened it's just no one taking spoken about that though

yep yeah yeah exactly it's it's sort of like they just went from the beginning to the end but then talk about the journey which is what so let's kind of talk about about the journey because i think one of the things we kind of talk just pre show recording here is like one one o tings i want to talk about was like you know it's a lot easier right for us to you know for anybody to talk about dreaming and life by design one of the tings that stop people is usually the money part right in order to create certain things requires sort of capital and resources skills education all those thing

yeah yeah yeah yeah

you know and those are i feel like those are the precursors the fuel that adds to the fire that allows you to burn even brighter but i think it's important for recognize that that at any stage depending on what stage you're coming in at this and where you are towards your dream like if it's further away or you're getting closer i feel like it's the more as you progress right when your creating in life it's almost like that path has to go through a series of things steps that

yeah yeah

adds more fuel and as you accumulate more you then can actually leverage that fuel and resources to create a bigger and bigger fire and an exponential curve not a straight line and this is what i meant by the escape velocity is that it's hard for like the first ninety per cent and when there's a certain point once you get there it comes like a hockey stick where it just really starts to really um accelerate very

yeah yeh yeah

l but you have to be able to to grind through that initial phase and like i said initial phase usually takes years not weeks not days and it's hard but it's hard to not met like everybody wants to be parashouted into that new phase and i think that's why when you said keeping your vision in the future keeping it like there knowing that it helps you stay on the track and avoid slippage away from the dream

yeah yeah yep yeah because there's a process you know someone can there's two things that i've observed there's number one there's often people who want to get from where they are to to a reality or a dream or a vision and there's got to be a process and they've got to navigate through all the challenges of getting you know in their own mind set the practicality s the money the time all those things to make it happen but then you get a number some group of people who if they haven't done the work on themselves get parachooted into what looks like that reality but they can't hold that they can't sustain that because they haven't they haven't over got the maturity you look at how many people have instant overnight success and yet blow it away because they just don't have the maturity the preparation at the value on those things so there's parallel journeys in that yeah

it's like lottery winners right like how many we already know like lottery winners you know if you don't have a good money management or money mind set you know when you win the lottery chances are you're going to be right back where you started very very quickly and that's showing across the board no matter what nationality no matter where you are in the world that has always been the case so people think like oh i just if i only had a million dollars if i only just got the lottery if i only got in this inheritance know like you got to do the work so that you're prepared for

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

that actually does eventual even if it does but you know when the money either you earn it or you're somehow you know magically somehow got it you're not goin t be if you're not prepared for it you're goin lose it so you got to be right in the mind set and you know learning this leaning portugu is like one of the hardest things i've ever done like you know mentally like i don't know if it's because my brain doesn't work that way any more but it's just like it is hard language to learn but you know learning a language no matter

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

how much money i pour into this right put into this you no teachers or by programs or whatever i still have to do the work you mean like no there is no matrix of installing in my brain and just to be like i wish there was but there isn't to just like automatically trans like sure i have google translator no but that's not the same right so i have to go through the work and i'd recognize like using that as an analogy there are some people who learn it faster than me some people who learn it slower than me some people

yeah uh yeah yeah

but whatever and is it the resources sure some resources probably are more helpful but again i still have to do the work my teacher can't install it in me they can teach me can guide me but i still have to go through the process remembering understanding the language and for example i'm sure you go though he same thing it's like it's hard to form sentences if you don't actually have some basic vocabulary of words right so like there's a step

hm yeah yep correct

so i kind of have to know like you know a handful of words to a hundred or two hundred words before i can even start with the sentences because what's the point in forming senses but i don't even know any of those words mean so like there's a process right so the same thing with designing your life like there are certain building blocks that you kind of have to fundamentally have maybe it's like mind set it's like you know understanding about money maybe like being being a hard worker having drive having purpose you know having a resource having capital being able to be self suffit

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

so all these things are building blocks of creating that life design if you miss any of those building blocks it's really hard to create that life by design

yeah yeah and we had a friend yesterday a mutual friend who was here in in had lunch with him yesterday asking how his portuguese going and he said it's very much cave man portuguese like a member that he goes i know words and i can grant words but i can't create sentences so what a great concept so i speak grant spanish at the moment i'm just starting to link in a lot in the long the lines of what you're saying laurence a really important thing is to me this is what a life of design is don't look at where i am right now look at my trajectory and if your trajectory is built on habits and systems and processes and work and repetition then eventually you will create the life exactly if design because you put effort into it and as you said it's like you don't you don't just magically pick that up there's a process of going about that and the only reason why you will do it is because at some point it's important to you and there's there's a reason for it because right now there are other things that we are spending our time on and yet we've gone this isn't

m yeah yeah

portant priority for me so i have to put the work into it

yeah i think it's also an element of trust in yourself and and there's a bit of element of hope that the work that you put in is eventuate into something because it's really hard it's slow and this i'm using this is an analogy because i think it's really important for you to understand like you might be thinking like but i've been here for the last two years where i've been here like this you know for five years now you know at this and yeah sometimes you got like we can say this for another because we're just like got to know when

yeah yeah yeah yeah

then sometimes right i think that's we had to talk about that last time we actually talked about he last episode like sometime you got to know like you you're in a dead end like you're not going anywhere so you do have to have let go this on cost and move on and do something different but sometimes it's like you're that much closer to that gold mine like you're just there and so you do have to come up once in a while for air and do check like are you actually progressing forward because if you're not yeah you definitely need to do something and it might be and what i mean by checking in to see

yeah yeah yeah yeah yep yeah yeah

whether you're in the right path is like you might be on th right path but maybe what you're doing isn't actually getting either like you know like maybe you are riding a bike when you're trying to go from perth to sydney for example and you think like man this is a long so yeah of course because you chose the wrong vehicle right i mean a car would have been faster you know a train would have been faster and airplane would have been faster so like maybe you need to switch vehicles or you know how you get there so sometimes we do have to look at our strategy in our plan and see an

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

test it and go is this going to get us closer because if it's not if you don't like where you how to put the speed of the speed you're getting to your goals or to your life that you want then maybe it's time to do something that you're kind of uncomfortable with because most likely the vehicle you chose is because of the vehicle that you're most comfortable with

m yeah i think the spot i think it's the strategy sometimes that can can basically do with a bit of refinement you have to keep asking to have the question is is this is this what i choose yes is this the right journey yes it is the fares vehicle of getting me the now what else can i do and that's actually being resourceful as opposed to actually you know giving up on it it's about saying okay what else can i incorporate and do now to me was just going to say we

yeah

what's the pursuit of happiness with well um the okay all right all right not gonna ruin it but there's one specific scene that petemizes the whole journey you know where there's challenge challenge challenges there's one scene where there's just joy and it's to me sometimes that's the life by design you know where there's challenges there's ificullytand you just know that you know that you know that you celebrate

yeah we just actually watched that two weeks ago with with with my kids yeah yeah yeah

and sometimes that your knowing that's like i had that one moment yeah that's it

yeah it's a mental switch yeah you have to have that mental switch and but it's the difference i think in that journey you have to go you know it's always gonna be a fight and when you really come down if you really seriously ask the question is that are you is it a fight for your dream or fight for your comfort that's what it comes down to right right because that's exactly what happens it's a fight for you like there's a moment when you go i want this dream but then it goes yeah but i don't want to do this because that

yeah no that's yeah yeah i like that yeah

makes you uncomfortable right and so but what do you want you want to fight for the dream or you're gonna fight for your comfort that's all it is every single time and and that happens to me it happens to you happens to everybody no matter how successful you are it's constantly is that fight for your dream or fight for your comfort that's the design you need to make and if you choose comfort that's okay that is awesome but just don't complain about it all right that's the kid you just can't complain about it

yeah yeah everybody every yeah yeah yeah yeah there effects the are effects and consequences of all decisions and it's taking you closer or further away from where you want to go and then ultimately that he designed a life by constantly choice making choices you know you've got you got this and you go go left or right left or right left or right and over time t see sequence of alternating left or right decisions get you to your designed life pretty much in a nutshell

yeah and that life design never stops until the end and so keep creating keep creating any last minute words sir jim

in this no no yea so how do we wrap up sense that the same sort of thing that to me i think the the life one design is it really comes down to choice and deciding in the moment is this is this important to me and once you have cycled through your own limitations do i deserve this can deserve this is this possible et cetera et cetera once you clarify what it looks like really clear on why you're doing it and then go through the action steps ultimately that process in itself s creating the life by design now your life and my life may look totally different so it's not about what it looks like to other people but you just know yourself that you chose this and you chose it and you know why you chose it and that to me that level of fulfilment because there's been plenty of times both in myself and people i know who've had a great level success in

m

conventional terms without the fulfillment and something missing and when you're creating a life by design fundamentally i think you're you're tapping into the fulfillment component that quatoffenis missing

there was i saw something today and use this to end it which was i'm trying to find it if i can but i don't think i can it was by alex harmas mose sorry i don't know if i'm pronouncing that right i'm goin t butcher this but he wrote a post and it was really interesting he cos the queen died five months ago okay the next name it you know she accumulated she lived a great life you know changed a lot of people's lives you know lived you know massive life and she accumulated probably more wealth than ninety nine point nine percent of the world of the of the population you haven't thought about the queen until i just mentioned this right now

yeah

and just goes no one s goin to be talking about you when everything is over so just go out and live your life stop thinking about what people can think of you and you go and create and so i was like oh man that's so true right it's like it's so right yeah so like stop caring about like what other people think and what you deserve what you don't like if you want a life you want go after it but we're so caught up in this whole thing about fight for comfort fight for our dream like this is it

no that cuts deep but it's true though it's well okay okay great

and this is the moment it's like you get to choose and you stop caring you know do go after that dream i ll leave the statement it's like if you if there's a life we all know we have a life that we dream more the question is what are you willing to sacrifice for it what are you willing to do about it who are you want to to be with and enroll in to help you get there that's the key and that's the question and i hope that you got something away from today's podcast and hope that you take some of the actions that we talked about today i know i'm going to because it's been brilliant some of the ideas that jim you've given me so i love to hear some stories from people from this episode and then hearing some stories from a couple o years later to see what their life looks like and in the process in the progress that they have made so guys this is us what we saw me i hope that you enjoy this please share this with your friends and this is one of those episode i think you want to put it back on repeat and send it to your friends and families because i think this is one that will shape the life and you get to enjoy it together talk to you son